Hey Tonda!

From The Mommy files

2012-01-08T21:01:00.001-06:00

My daughters visited their grandparents this weekend and of course they made cookies and had to bring me some. My oldest daughter said it was magic cookies, and I didn't ask what she meant by that.

Looks interesting doesn't it? Besides the coconut, I don't know what else is in it but I will try one, just not tonight.

Happy New Years

2012-01-01T19:37:00.001-06:00

So it's 2012, what will you do with it?

My morning snack

2011-12-10T12:28:00.001-06:00

My youngest daughter decided to make me a snack, its marshmallows and Cheerios heated up in a microwave. Don't worry she didn't heat the spoon. My youngest can be sweet when she wants to.

Weight loss and relationships

2011-11-28T08:41:00.001-06:00

I recall reading a blog earlier this year about dating and weight loss. The blogger stated how difficult it was trying to eat right and date. I thought about my own struggles, how I'm usually single or involved with men that live hours away during my weight loss season. Yes, I call it a season because for some reason, I'm super dedicated from the months of November through mid July and then completely off the fitness wagon from late July - October. But that's another blog.

Back to my original thought, it was never an issue for me to diet and date. I didn't have to worry about dining out often or waking up too tired to workout because I was up late doing 'grown up' things. And yes, I was married before but fitness and eating healthy wasn't a priority in my marriage until months before it ended. That was then, today it's a different story.

Today I am involved and it's not long distance. I am concerned about fitness, diet and my romantic life. I'm with a guy who is also into fitness and eating well so the struggle isn't as hard compared to being with a guy who's not. He encourages me often and is very supportive and I think that's the key, being involved with someone that supports my lifestyle. Otherwise, trying to remain focused and committed to losing weight and keeping it off while in a relationship would be a constant battle.

But it's still challenging. I still have to fight food urges and tiredness. Trust me the feeling doesn't go away just because I'm with a guy that shares similar interests. So when it comes to my relationship and food, it's no secret that I'm counting calories. So in an effort to control my intake, we don't dine out often. We still go out on dates but most of our meals are prepared at home with occasional dining out. We try out new recipes and enjoy finding meals to prepare together. I've also started to look into doing other things around town besides dining out.

When it comes to tiredness, staying up late is definitely a workout killer, even if it's the result of "romantic" times, chances are I'm not getting up in the morning to workout. But how to deal? How to keep my fitness up and keep the flames burning? Trying to find the right balance of getting "my" time and getting "us" time in along with "mommy" time is tricky but not impossible. I discovered that working out first thing in the morning is optimal for me, but in case I'm too tired to workout in the morning, I know that's not the only time I can workout. When I trained for Steamboat Classics, I often trained in the early evenings. Training or working out in the evenings is tough and I try to avoid it because of the amount of work I do when I'm home. But if I need to carve out 15-30 minutes to workout in the evenings, I know it's possible.

I also found that forgoing the television at night increases the amount of energy I have for the evenings. It's amazing how tired you feel by sitting for long period of time watching tv.

Now of course I get that blah feeling, when I'm tired of eating this or doing a particular routine. I found that fitness challenges, magazines and cookbooks helped. I received a one years subscription to Women's Health Magazine as a gift last year and this year I'm subscribed to Fitness Magazine. I challenge myself by finding new workout routines in the magazines or even online. Cookbooks also help to add variety to my meals. My favorite is the Taste of Home cookbook, I use that one quite often. I also have Cook This Not That , it's loaded with nice lower fat and calorie alternatives compared to popular restaurant meals. And of course I still use the free cookbook known as the Internet.

So this is my routine. Yes, I know it's the dreaded "r" word. But I've learned you have to establish an action plan a.k.a routines to achieve the goals you desire. Whenever I just winged it, I always put on weight and wasted time. So I will continue this routine until it no longer works and alter it as I see fit.

So am I the only person out there dealing with relationship issues as it pertains to weight loss goals? What are some things you discovered that helped you along the way?

Remember these?

2011-11-19T11:56:00.001-06:00

While filling up at the gas station, my man pointed at the pay phone and said remember those? Coined pay phones are like a rare species today. I use to see them all the time when I was a child, but not anymore.

On a mission to stop my belly aching

2011-11-06T17:46:00.000-06:00

As I get older, I try to become more and more aware of what's going on with my body. So when little aches and pains occur I try to detect if there is a pattern that goes with it. As of late, one of my reoccurring issues is stomach aches.


Yup, that's bout how I feel.

And the stomach ache isn't due to me over eating either.

I think it's from my lack of water consumption. I've been slooowly falling off the fitness wagon every since my bikini post. Bad habits started creeping back in and I soon found myself gaining weight and aches. I suffered from gas more often as well as, *whispers* constipation. I wondered what the culprit could be and quickly realized that I wasn't drinking as much water like I use to.

Back in the spring and summer months I gulped 64+ ounces of water on a regular, as a result I ate less and didn't have any stomach aches. So now I've made it my mission again to get back on the water wagon. My goal from now on is to drink at least 64 ounces daily and to do so before 8pm because I really hate getting up in the middle of the night to pee. I'm thinking my lack of water will take care of my issues, if it doesn't then I'll see a doctor. Either way I will keep you guys posted.

So 31 Days is over....

2011-11-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

I must admit I enjoyed doing the 31 Days in Life blog series even though I skipped a day (day 19). I looked back through the blogs and noticed quite a few posts included pictures of food, guess you can tell where my mind is most days. I briefly thought about getting a tumblr account but figured what's the point? I don't need yet another user name and password to keep track of. Besides, if I feel like micro blogging again I'll just do continue to blog through here. And now that I've got the hang of posting blogs through my cell phone, I can upload photos and posts with little effort.

My next goal is staying on the fitness wagon.

31 Days in Life, day 31

2011-10-31T18:31:00.001-05:00

All ready for the trick or treaters. This is my first year spending Halloween at home, so depending on how well it goes will determine if I do it again next year.

31 Days in Life, day 30

2011-10-30T20:23:00.001-05:00

The skyline on the way home.

31 Days in Life, day 29

2011-10-29T21:33:00.001-05:00

Getting into the spirit of Halloween.
Ya know, carving pumpkins is major work. The first time I carved a pumpkin was a few years ago and it was nothing like the 5 minute clips I'd seen of Martha Stuart decorating a pumpkin on my cable's On Demand feature. It took a lot longer and still does. However, I love the finished product and can see why my mom never did it with me and my siblings...and why I put it off so long with my girls.
I think next year I may look into using stickers vs carving.

31 Days in Life, day 28

2011-10-28T18:08:00.001-05:00

So I received a surprise check in the mail today. I haven't seen on of these in a minute!

31 Days in Life, day 27

2011-10-27T21:40:00.001-05:00

I recently discovered the joy of raw honey. Now I'm not normally a honey lover, but lately I've enjoyed a heaping spoon full of raw honey in my tea. It'super sweet and complements my tea quite nicely.

31 Days in Life, day 26

2011-10-26T23:22:00.001-05:00

So it's 11:19pm and I just changed into my pjs. I should sleep good tonight.

31 Days in Life, Day 25

2011-10-25T20:14:00.001-05:00

These are the best vitamins on earth. They were on sale today so I snagged a bottle for my kids. Flintstones vitamins are another favorite childhood memory of mine.

31 Days in Life, day 24

2011-10-24T20:08:00.001-05:00

Some relaxsensation after a long hard day (yes that is a made up word compound word using relax and sensation). This is called a Caipirinha. It's made from the juice of one lime, 2 tablespoons of sugar and Brazilian rum.

31 Days in Life, day 23

2011-10-23T20:41:00.001-05:00

I made cupcakes today and I predict running or some other form of rigorous exercising in my future....

31 Days in Life, day 22

2011-10-22T19:31:00.001-05:00

That sucka hurt! Messing around in the kitchen, I reached my hand inside a cabinet and my thumb rubbed against the door frame causing me to get a splinter.

31 Days in Life, day 21

2011-10-21T19:34:00.000-05:00

Look at what I picked up at the grocery store today...

This brings back childhood memories.

Oh my goodness! I use to look forward to that time of year when these apples would be sold at my school. I think back then it cost about $2 per apple or maybe the whole box, all I know it was worth the price!

31 Days in Life, day 20

2011-10-20T08:37:00.001-05:00

This is the beginning of my long work day. It ends at 6pm.

31 Days in Life, days 17 & 18

2011-10-18T19:49:00.001-05:00

Forgive me for not posting yesterday. So today's post has 2 photos. Ok so the first picture is of a birthday party invite I received a few weeks ago.

Isn't it sharp? I've seen similar invites for weddings.

The 2nd photo is what's left of my dish sets.

Notice the odd number of plates, bowls and saucers. That is what happened when my kids began washing dishes, stuff broke and sets became incomplete. Oh well, the labor is free.

31 Days in Life, day 16

2011-10-16T21:39:00.001-05:00

One down, one more to go.

31 Days in Life, day 15

2011-10-15T22:51:00.001-05:00

So my mom got the girls a gift, I just gotta put it together. Can you guess what tomorrow's picture will be?

31 Days in Life, day 14

2011-10-14T23:03:00.000-05:00

So it's late and I'm in bed watching tv...

Remember pop-up videos? This takes me back to happy times in the 90's.

31 Days in Life, day 13

2011-10-13T20:37:00.000-05:00

I'm a certified earth saver now....

Guess who joined the recycle wagon?

Impromptu photo shoot in the garage, ignore the busy background, the important thing here is the bin.

So I signed up to recycle and I was totally inspired to do it because I'm into saving the planet and what not...plus there's a contest that would give me the chance to win a $1000 Visa gift card and $3000 for my daughters' school. Ahh yes! Saving the earth feels like playing the lottery.

31 Days in Life, day 12

2011-10-12T21:11:00.000-05:00

This thing right here is 9 years old...


Clown and toilet.

I got it as a baby shower gift for my 1st born, it's a toilet tissue holder. It holds 2 rolls of tissue and has little pockets all around it for smaller items like creams, trial size lotion bottles or whatever my kids decide to hide in it. Oh and in case you're wondering, the tissue inside it isn't 9 years old, I've added new rolls quite frequently over the years.

31 Days in Life, day 11

2011-10-12T08:44:00.000-05:00

It finally arrived...

Tada!

My bank offered a rewards program, (the powers that be discontinued the program) so whenever I signed for purchases with my debit card versus using my pin number, I earned points. My gift card is only worth $10, never-mind the fact it took 1,000 points to earn the card and never-mind the fact I earned points at the rate of 1 point for every $5 bucks I spent (don't cha just loooove banks?) The card is here and I'm happy.

P.S I tried sooo hard to post this blog last night on the 11th but my freakin computer wasn't having it. I kid you not it took damn near 1 hour to get signed on to blogger and upload that photo (note to self, don't update antivirus software and try getting online at the same time). When I had everything ready and clicked publish, Blogger decided it too wasn't having it and refused to post the blog. So, here it is a day late but here none the less.

31 Days in Life, day 10

2011-10-10T20:03:00.000-05:00

My girls spent the day at grandpa's house and this is what they are coming home with...

This is why grandpa's house rocks.

31 Days in Life, day 9

2011-10-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

Breakfast :)

French toast with syrup and powdered sugar.

Low cal no, delicious yes.

31 Days in Life, day 8

2011-10-08T22:23:00.000-05:00

When I left my house this afternoon, one of the roses caught my eye. I thought it made a pretty picture...

Yup, makes for a darn good photo.

31 Days of Life, day 7

2011-10-07T14:40:00.000-05:00

I came into work this morning and saw this...


I swear my job stays tempting my inner greedy child.

Now I'ma a certified coffee drinker and a ~~on and off again fitness junky~~ conscious eater. I have to stop in the break room to get my morning coffee and I nearly stopped in my tracks when I saw those boxes. But I resisted temptation, I got my coffee and quickly exited the room. However, I went back later in the afternoon to snap that picture.


I'm content with my coffee

31 Days in Life day 6

2011-10-06T20:45:00.000-05:00

It's been beautiful outside all week!

This is what my lunch break looked like this afternoon.

Sitting underneath the trees looking out at the trees....and parking lot.

31 Days in Life, day 5

2011-10-05T20:03:00.000-05:00

I need to paint my nails, but what color should I choose....

1st container

2nd container

I know this may seem like a lot to some of you but trust me it isn't. Despite having 2 drawers and at least 60 or so nail colors, I still feel like I don't have enough. But I digress. I still have to decide on a color.

31 Days in Life, day 4

2011-10-04T20:09:00.000-05:00

Wooo! I'm full and tired! I thought about today's picture wondering what could I possibly upload. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror as I removed my contacts and thought, Hey! This looks like a nice picture.

My life at the end of the night, a pair of contacts and glasses.

I tried to be fancy and added an effect to the photo.

31 Days in Life, day 3

2011-10-03T13:21:00.000-05:00

During a break at work today, I noticed this is the women's restroom (it's not gross)....

This little sheet taped to the door inside the stall.

Now I don't normally take my phone with me into the restroom but I made a special trip back to the stall with it so I could take this picture. I laughed when I first noticed it, it reminded me of being at O'Hare Airport in one of the restrooms in the United Airlines terminal. I don't know why I thought of O'Hare and United Airlines specifically but in that moment they just seemed to fit.

31 Days in Life, day 2

2011-10-02T15:27:00.000-05:00

Day 2, so I'm in the shower when I noticed the bottle of Dr. Bonner's Magic Soap and wondered...

has any ever read the whole bottle?

I didn't realize the amount of words written on this bottle, I mean damn, it's covered in text.

And I mean covered, from one end of the label to the other.

I've yet to read the entire bottle, I don't think my morning shower is long enough to accomplish such a feat. But I suppose I can finish reading the bottle by the end of this 31 day challenge.

31 Days in Life, day 1

2011-10-01T14:34:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! I decided to commit to posting a picture every day for the next 31 days. I've nicked named myself the lazy blogger, because let's face it, ya'll see how often I blog right? Posting a picture once a day for the next 31 days should be easy enough even for a lazy blogger like myself, right?

This ought to be interesting.

Day 1, I wanted to make fried green tomatoes but see what had happened was...

I enjoyed the look of the tomatoes as a center piece that before I knew it, 2 weeks had passed and my bowl once full of green tomatoes was now a bowl full of red tomatoes.

Get a life!

2011-07-28T18:14:00.000-05:00

This spoke to me the other day and I wanted to share it, enjoy!

So the bikini body challenge is over...now what?

2011-07-16T14:03:00.000-05:00

This is the hardest part about working out past achieving a goal. I've lost weight. I ran my race, I completed the bikini body challenge. I was dedicated the 1st half of the year with my fitness routine and healthy eating lifestyle but recently found myself slipping. In a matter of 2 weeks, my dedication lessened and the weight gain increased.

In my last post, I stated I wasn't quite where I would like to be (figure wise), I still have fat to lose around my mid section and loose skin that needs tightening. I can't do anything about the stretch marks or the cesarean scar so I just have to learn to love em, but I can still work on maintaining what I achieved thus far while reaching for a new goal.

So that's where it begins, though the Steamboat Classic Race has come and gone as well as the YumYucky.com Bikini Body Challenge, I still have goals to achieve so I can't stop now. But I have been tempted. I recently took a mini vacation and I indulged! I have to work on keeping myself focused while on vacation and getting out of the "eat what you want because you're on vacation" mentality. I still have to practice discipline because I don't want to keep losing the same pounds over and over again. Plus I'm serious about staying bikini body ready when December comes, y'all know that's when all the cheap cruise vacations come out.

So here's to continuing the bikini body challenge all year long.

Tada...

2011-07-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

July 1st aka reveal day. I've worked hard, had my ups and downs but for the most part I stayed on track. And I know I'm not where I expected to me but dammit I'm getting closer and I'm proud of the results thus far. So here it is...

Hard work works! July 2011

Feb 2011


No gym membership required.

Bikini-eve

2011-06-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

Lord hammercies! Tomorrow is the big reveal day! Though I'm still not where I would like to be, I made a promise and Ima keep my word. I will post pictures tomorrow of me in my bikini.

Y'all pray for me...

8 days and counting...

2011-06-22T18:39:00.000-05:00

The bikini...

till bikini reveal day. I keep thinking back to all the light beer and bbq's that I've indulged in the last few weeks and I think "damn damn damn!" and "no way", I'm suppose to fit allla this (waves hand around belly) into that bikini AND look good? But, I made a committment to wear one for the yumyucky bikini body challenge and I will post pictures come July 1. However, I decided to extend my "ready" date another six months. I still have a significant amount of fat around my belly and I want to get rid of it for good and I think continuing this process for another 6 months will get me the results I desire. Yes, that means being bikini body ready by December but at least I will be ready. Now this doesn't mean I will skip the beach this summer, depending on my ~~bloated~~ err confidence level, I may wear the bikini or the new one piece.

So here's to getting back on track...again.

Race results

2011-06-20T22:58:00.000-05:00


Pre race photo, taken around 6:30am

3:30am: I lie in bed awake, tossing and turning. I feel a crazy mix of excitement and nervousness but I'm mostly nervous, in fact I'm so nervous that my stomach now hurts.

5:05am: The alarm goes off. I have no problem getting out of bed. My race clothes were ready the night before and all I had to do was shower,eat and get my girls ready to take them over to their grandparents house before the race.

5:30am: I take 3 Motrins, 2 Sudafeds and eat a slice of wheat bread with peanut butter.

5:37am: Wake my daughters up and get them ready. My man, WSG gets outta bed as well.

6:05am: We all leave out and head to the grandparents' house, WSG and I will head downtown afterwards.

6:28am: Car is parked and I need to pee. I head over to the long ass line for the ladies restroom, surprisingly it moves quickly.

6:48am: Make our way to the 10 minute mile area:

10 minute mile folks

All the other folks in front of us

6:57am: Gear up the iPod for the run.

7:00am: The race begins but due to the crowd, it will be a minute before we cross the start line.

Mile 1: Mile 1 seemed easy and hard at the same time. Easy in the sense the way my body felt but hard in the sense that it was difficult trying to maneuver around other runners and also stay next to WSG.

Mile 1.5: I started to feel winded and slowed just a touch.

Mile 2: This mile seemed even tougher and longer! But this meant I was halfway done and this was also the point at which water was introduced into the race. I readily stopped for a few seconds to take my first sip of water.

Mile 2.5: A water sprinkler was set up on the road and I ran through it. It felt cold and shocking but in a good way.

Mile 3: I felt like I needed to stop and I did. I kept telling myself to keep moving but caved in to wanting to stop. WSG encourages me telling me, "You got this". I shake my head no and tell him I need a break. I stopped for about 5 seconds and then start jogging.

Mile 3.25: Another water sprinkler, I go for it. As I'm running through it the thought hits me that this may not be the best thing to do considering I'm wearing close to $200 in electronic equipment in the form of my iPod nano and Nike running sensor. I emerge from the sprinklers hoping my iPod still works once the race is over.

Last 400 meters: Sheesh the last 400 meters seemed like the toughest and longest but I can finally see the finish line, YES! WSG asks if I want to sprint. So I speed up just a bit but there's a big man on my left, WSG is on my right and to his right are the spectators and the gate. There's no room for me to pass. I told him to go ahead, he speeds up and makes some space for me to pass the big guy on my right and I take off.

I crossed the finished line and WSG was one second behind me. My chip time was 38:54, last years time was 39:41. Improvement, yes!!!

Post race photo, one word, spent!

But guess what else happened?

Free beer!

I got my free beer this year. And yes, I was sipping beer at 8:00am and loved it! Oh and my iPod still works.

Run updates and bikini news

2011-06-16T18:23:00.000-05:00

I'm still running! The day after tomorrow is the race and I'm still nervous and feeling anxious about my performance. I ran 2 miles today and had to stop shortly after a mile. My allergies kicked in, breathing became difficult and I felt like I was about to vomit. However I managed to finish the 2 miles in 21:04 with an average pace of 10:30 min/mi.

I wondered why my pace this year increased from last year's average of 9 min/mi to this years average of over 11min/mi and wondered if the shoes could be the key. So, on my last 2 runs I switched it up and ran with my old shoes and definitely saw improvement in speed but my endurance on the other hand is still lacking. I plan to purchase some lighter running shoes for the remainder of the summer but I'll run in my old shoes for the race.

Now on to the bikini news. I purchased a one piece swim suit earlier this month and I'm pleased with the way I look in it. I'm still thinking about getting this body in a 2 piece even though I'm not where I would like to be as far as results go. I told myself not to dismiss the idea completely until I at least try one on.

So I plan to try some on at Old Navy tomorrow and perhaps even *gulps* purchase one as well.

I shall keep ya'll updated.

Men's deodorant follow-up

2011-06-16T17:51:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note on the men's deodorant. So I went back to the store to purchase more Sure Maximum Strength for Men deodorant since it had the same active ingredient, aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex GLY 20%, found in the women's clinical strength deodorant. Well of course it was sold out and even the app on my smart phone, shopper, couldn't find it nearby at any other store.

It smells nice too

But is available at drugstore.com for $2.99 which is still cheaper than paying $5 or $9 dollars for the women's version, plus the scent isn't overpowering so you won't smell like a man.

But who wants to order deodorant online? So I continued looking around at the store and checked out the active ingredient on other brands of men's deodorant and I could not find one (excluding men's clinical) with the same level of active ingredient as the women's clinical version. With that said ladies, if you choose to purchase men's deodorant because you want a cheaper and equivalent alternative to buying women's clinical strength, you most likely will have to purchase men's clinical strength. I know, I know, it sucks and it completely changes my original post about men's deodorant but I didn't want to share information with you about a product and then the product is no longer available.

However, I was able to find men's clinical strength deodorant slightly cheaper compared to the women's clinical so you can still save a few bucks if you purchase it at the stores.

Both smell good enough for women.

So how does it work? I purchased both a women's clinical by Mitchum and Sure Maximum Strength for men, both have the same amount of the active ingredient and both work well. My armpits were dry and odor free even after taking a 15 minute walk outside in the heat, I did not experience deodorant failure or sweaty armpits. So in my opinion, the clinical version (male or female) is a good buy even though it is a few dollars more than regular deodorant.

In the end I will still buy both depending on the sale.

For Grown-Ups

2011-06-03T11:31:00.000-05:00

Ever had something that was off limits to you as a child? I got to reminiscing on my childhood and thought I'd share some of the things that were for grown-ups only in my house:

I could not use Alaga as a little kid. I recall all those pancake and biscuit meals at grandmas house but as a child I had to enjoy them with Mrs. Butterworth or some no name label syrup. Man I hated that crap! It was thin and boring! I wanted that thick, dark, sweet Alaga stuff. But oh when the day came that I was "big enough" to use Alaga, I felt like I arrived. Of course using Alaga came with braggin rights to my younger siblings.

This was off limits too:

My mom would not allow us to watch the Simpsons for nothing! This was back when the church deemed Bart Simpson to be evil. Do you recall the big deal with the Simpsons? Bart was almost equal to the devil himself. Seems so mild now compared to say Family Guy. And since I missed so much of the Simpsons growing up, anytime I see an episode today, it's new to me despite how old it may be.

Grandmas living room was for grown-ups too.

Remember plastic furniture covers?

All the furniture was covered in plastic covers, so its not like you could sneak and sit on those couches without someone hearing you. I use to stare at the living room wondering when I would be old enough to sit in the coveted area of the home. I was so happy when grandma got rid of those covers. The living room was still off limits but only for a short while. Now whenever I go visit her house, you can find nearly the whole family sitting together in the living room on plastic free furniture enjoying each others company.

Even certain soda's were off limit in our house. One of my aunts discovered this tasty drink named Seagrams's Rasberry Ginger Ale. It too was added to the for grown-ups list. All the children were allowed a taste of it before we were banned from drinking it. I recall my first sip of that soda (and trust me it was only a sip) it was the best drink I ever tasted. It was so sweet, so bubbly and it even tasted grown-up. When I asked for more I was met with a quick no and a swift order to excuse myself to another part of the house.

Of course I have my own for grown-ups list in my home but I'm not as good at enforcing it like my family was when I was growing up. And quite frankly my grown-ups list is not as cool as the one I had as a child. Some of my for grown-ups items are my FiberPlus bars and my Coke Zero (see, lame).

That's all for now folks. What type of things were for grown-ups only in your home?

And I learned...

2011-05-28T11:07:00.000-05:00

Time is moving fast! Dang it's been 2 weeks since my last blog?! Sheesh, I'm tripping. Here's a little insiders tidbit, when there is a big gap in my blog posts, I'm up to no good. Not up to no good in the sense of something illegal, dangerous or thrown in jail no good but diet wise there was some havoc going on.

I would wait until the final days of this yumyucky.com bikini body challenge to start acting foolish and gain weight. Yes, I gained 3 pounds in a matter of 2 days. Yes 2 days!!! I'm blaming PMS, Garrett popcorn, and pizza. *deep sigh, wallslide and drama queen tears* I will lose this weight---again.

On to running news. When I last blogged, I promised myself I would get 3 runs in that week and I did it! 2 miles on May 16th, 3 miles on the 18th and 1.72 miles on the 20th. However, I've only run once this week and that was a 3 mile run completed in 35:39. It was much tougher than the 3 mile run I completed on May 18th in 33:27. I'll admit my stamina is not where it should be and I know that's due to me running much less verses last year's training schedule (and that's not on purpose). I have 3 weeks before the race to build my stamina and try my hardest to beat last year's chip time of 39:41.

So on to the title of this blog. I learned a few things over the last 2 weeks.

1. Running on an empty stomach is not a good thing. On my May 24th run, my last meal was lunch approximately 5 hours prior to running. Normally I'll have some nuts or peanut butter on a slice of wheat bread before running but I decided to skip my pre-workout meal that day and I'm sure it hurt me.

2. Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo helps fight acne. Well at least on my body. I noticed the pleasant side effect earlier this year. Now although I am an adult, I still suffer from the occasional breakout. However, I noticed my chest and back started to clear up when I started using this shampoo as a body wash. Occasionally I'll use it on my face but I use it daily in the shower. The real test will be this summer when my skin goes into over drive but for now I'm pretty happy with the results.

3. Men's deodorant is equivalent to clinical strength women's deodorant. I decided to try a clinical strength women's deodorant this summer. Yes, I need extra protection during the summer months to fight against deodorant failure, but the clinical strength deodorant for women is damn expensive! The cheapest one I found was $5 and most cost around $9. It wasn't until I purchased deodorant for my man that I discovered the active ingredient in women's clinical strength, Aluminum Zirconium Tetrachlorohydrex GLY - 20 %, was the same active ingredient found in the clearance Sure Maximum Strength Men's deodorant that I purchased for him at $1.30. But what about the scent you may say? Well, men's deodorant also comes unscented so I'll try to find one that is unscented, if not I'll just find a fragrance I enjoy and go with it.

4. Eating right during the summer months will be tough. I have 2 grills in my garage and I love burgers, brats and beer. I'm still working on over coming this one so stay tuned for that.

Alright guys, enjoy your weekend.

Fitting room mirrors are evil!

2011-05-16T11:08:00.000-05:00

I tell you as time get's closer to showing it off, I get more nervous. I look at my belly and think, "This thang ain't changing fast enough!" I went to Target the other day to try on running shorts and I did not like the way my belly looked in the fitting room mirror, thus the title of this blog. Now my belly is flatter, (compared to January 2011) but still soft looking. I have a few lines in my stomach but when I looked at myself in the fitting room mirror that day, my stretch marks looked real "extra".
My ego took a huge blow. I may have to go with a monokini it's still sexy and shows enough skin yet covers enough of my stretch marks.

Funny thing is every other part of my body I'm fine with. My legs are fit and toned, cellulite isn't a major issue. I can wear a short skirt, dress or shorts and not have folks looking at me for having my cottage cheese on display. My back and arms have visible muscle tone and my booty looks amazing! It's just this dangon belly! It is taking its sweet time shrinking and getting toned. Ugh!!!

46 days and counting till the yumyucky.com bikini body challenge deadline. A lot can happen in 46 days... I have worked hard, I've gotten better at pushing through the, "I'm sleepy, too tired, don't feel like working out" excuses when my alarm goes off at 5:55am. I get up and get in 30 minutes of weight lifting or a quick 20 minute circuit, followed by a run or another circuit later in the evening. 46 more days of this will yield more results.

And yes I'm still running to train for my race.

I have another run to upload but iTunes and my pc are fighting with each other so you'll just have to take my word for it.

I'm at 2.5 miles with an average pace of 11 minutes per mile. Last week I ran twice (damn rain). I've run half as much thus far this year compared to this time last year and. I've yet to run 3 times a week. I'm sure my lack of runs is the reason why I'm not at my 9 minute miles by now.

But this week all that will change, I'm getting my 3 runs in this week no matter what.

Run and bikini updates

2011-05-01T21:13:00.000-05:00

So I hit the tracks twice before the end of April. I'm still researching a training program, I want to take a different approach to training for the Steamboat Classic this year.
I've read about the 10% rule and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what the hell that meant. The 10% rule states you should increase your weekly miles by no more than 10% each week to prevent injury. It sounds simple but I'm still clueless as to how it applies to me. So after using Google, I came across this link and it sounds doable. My current running goal is 3 times weekly (when weather permits) and I want to add a 4th run by the end of the May. Increasing my miles on every other run seems reasonable, safe and should get me to running 4 miles by the end of the month.

So on to the bikini challenge.

I still gaze upon my belly daily and it's still not bikini ready but it's getting there. I want to hit training hard for the next 2 months and I'm hoping to see big results by mid June.Training will consist of running of course, cardio and light weight lifting. I still do not have a gym membership and really have no plans of getting one. I want to see what kind of body I can shape working out hard at home and on the tracks. I will post a progress photo at the end of May and again on July 1st.

But this bikini challenge has met me with well...challenges. I've felt down, overwhelmed and even afraid at times. But, I have to recognize my achievements. This bikini challenge isn't the first challenge I've engaged in this year. I also participated in a wellness challenge with my employer and for the past 100 days I've made some big strides. I lost 11lbs and 2 inches from my waist and I now work out an average of 3 hours weekly. I've greatly reduced my sugar intake and I have fresh fruits in my home every week now, veggies on the other hand remain in frozen form.

So when I get down, I just have to remind myself of the good I've accomplished thus far and that it will get better.

Rain + Cold = No runs

2011-04-22T15:53:00.000-05:00

It's been raining and cold out here in the Midwest, at one point we even had snow! I have not hit the tracks since my last run a week ago. Plus the lazy bug got a hold of me and I only did about an hour of working out this past week vs my goal of 4-5 hours weekly.

In other news I started looking at bikini's, I plan to purchase one by the end of the month, size 8 to be exact. I think I'll hang it on my door or tape it to my ceiling to remind me of my goals and banish my excuses.

One of my friends on facebook posted this awesome link the other day, www.fitandhungry.com, I love this website! I did the full body workout yesterday and my thighs are super sore now. The discovery of this website came right on time as I want to do more workouts at home minus the DVD's. So I'm looking forward to the upcoming routines and nutrition tips featured on the site.

My water consumption this week was a bit lacking. I also noticed I tend to eat more or get that hungry feeling more often when I don't drink as much water as I should. Guess there's some truth to water curbing your appetite after all.

Belly gazing is still going on too, twice a day, once in the am and again in the evening. I briefly had second thoughts about showing it off come summer. I asked myself do I really want to show off the Google map my kids put on my belly? In other words I have stretch marks. I'm also worried that my results won't look the way I imagined it. Right now my belly is soft and there is nothing firm looking about it, but I'm trying to keep the faith that it will all work out in the end. I still take progress photos and videos monthly so I can see and have evidence of all my hard work.

However, I'm still down with this bikini body challenge! I will post my 2-piece pictures come July 1 no matter what!

Running and beast updates a.k.a the belly

2011-04-14T20:47:00.000-05:00

I'm still running, today was my 3rd run since Saturday April 9th. Sister is tired! I only ran a mile today vs the 2 mile runs I had earlier in the week. It was cold outside, I didn't feel like running and I was sleepy but I put my feelings aside and headed to the track anyways.

Kinda looks like a heart attack or something.

So there it is, I pushed myself hard the first half of the run and I suffered for it. I felt like I had a heavy ball sitting on my lungs and struggled a bit the remainder of the run. When I finished, the heavy ball feeling lessened up but turned into a coughing fit on the drive home. I had to use my inhaler as soon as I got home and felt much better afterwards. Despite my issues, this 1 miler was faster than my first one mile run nearly 2 weeks ago.

I think I spent a total of 20 minutes on the track today including my warm-up and cool down walk. My next run will be Saturday and I plan to hit the walking path. I decided the walking path would be a good choice to build strength due to the slight hills, as a result I'll only do the path once a week for now.

So now the beast. Yes, I've peeked at my belly since my last post. I started off well for a few days but the last 2 days I found myself peeking at it at night time. I must admit when I look at my stomach now, its brief and usually no more than twice on a particular day. I still want to finish out this month with minimal belly gazing so I'm still striving not to look at it.

Now if you guys will excuse me, I need to go ice my knees.

In the belly of the beast

2011-04-07T19:34:00.000-05:00

I'm addicted to looking at my stomach. I check my belly out at least 20 times a day. I have to look at my belly when I wake up in the morning, before I shower, after I get out the shower, before I get dressed, after I get dressed...you get the picture?

And I don't even have a bikini showy off type of belly! But I've been doing this for as long as a I can remember. I recently tried to minimize my belly viewing by cutting myself off for two weeks. I told myself I would not look in the mirror to gaze upon my bare belly for at least 14 days....that lasted about 2 days. I'm back to cutting myself off and trying for another 2 weeks, starting now.

I'm not the only one who noticed my habit, my children and my man have all questioned me about my belly gazing.

                       "Mom, why do you keep checking your stomach for fat?"
                       "Mom, you need to go in the bathroom and do that."
                       "Babe, what are you doing?
                       "You're looking at yourself again?"

So, here's to no more obsessively checking out my belly. I think my ego will thank me later.

Guess who's running again?

2011-04-06T21:43:00.000-05:00

Me! I dusted off my Reebox's and hit the tracks on Saturday and again today. But before I go into alladat I have a few updates to share.

So recall my last post where I mentioned being ill and unable to workout? Well somehow I managed to lose a total of 3 lbs during my 9 day illness despite the fact I did not workout at all while sick. Awesome right? So when I finally got my strength back the week of March 28th, I worked out 5 days that week and when I weighed myself on April 1st I gained 2 pounds.

WTH?

Anyways, I wasn't devastated by the 2lbs and it's quite possible its just a fluctuation or water weight gain. That's why it's wise not to weigh yourself daily, it will kill your ego. I weigh myself every Friday and sometimes on Wednesdays but I'm trying to cut out that Wednesday weigh-in to prevent any meltdowns.

So my goal now to getting 2-piece ready is to workout 4-5 hours weekly. I also started a new ab routine that I found in Fitness magazine so I've been trying that out since I recovered from my illness. My goal is to do it 3 times weekly.

My diet is getting better, I've increased my veggie intake as well as protein and I'm almost drinking my 8-8oz glasses of water daily. Almost.

So back to the runs, of course I'm still using my Nike+ sensor to track my runs. The first run was a bit rough, took about 13 minutes to run one mile however the 2nd run was better, finished it in 12:15.

Sick as a woman with a cold

2011-03-24T20:58:00.000-05:00

Benadryl, Mucinex D, Ibuprofen & Nasacort Spray, these are all of the medicines that I'm currently taking and have been taking since last Friday. I managed to get a cold or something and it has kicked my butt! Fever chills, stuffy nose, chest congestion, slight cough with thick mucus and to top it all off my allergies decided to kick in.

I can't win.

I haven't worked out at all since this illness kicked in. Between tossing and turning all night and waking up to take meds, when the alarm goes off at 6:05am, I really don't have it in me to do a workout. I'll admit I miss my workouts but I don't feel guilty about it. My body needs to heal and in my opinion forcing a workout during an illness would do more harm than good. However, I am proud to say that I haven't gained weight and I lost 2 pounds since last Friday. I guess being sick and having a reduced appetite isn't all bad :-/

So I'm still pursuing the bikini body challenge, I would like to drop an additional 10 pounds towards my goal of getting this belly into a "showing off" state. Although it's not there yet, I have noticed a difference in the way my clothes currently fit. My pants are getting looser but not to the point where I get that "droopy" look, you know when it looks like you're wearing a soggy adult diaper underneath your clothes because there's that much space in the seat of your pants now. I hate that look. Plus the front of my shirts are fitting flatter and more smoother now, I feel like I don't have to suck in my stomach any more.

So here's to healing and getting better. I should be back in action come Sunday.

Some new things

2011-03-13T20:26:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share some items that I've recently tried and give you my humble little opinion of them. Let's get started.

redbox

I tried my first movie ever from redbox and I like it! At $1 dollar a night it's waay cheaper than any video store membership I've ever had. Granted you have to wait nearly a month for new releases before it becomes available at redbox but again it's only a dollar! I currently pay $4.99 for a 48 hour rental when ordering movies on demand with my local cable company and that's the price I pay if I get it the same day it's release or 30 days after. Redbox is a winner in my book and I will be using them again.

Nars Sandpiper lipgloss

I've seen this lipgloss featured on a few of my favorite youtube beauty vloggers. I was hesitant to buy it, I mean at $24 that's a lot to invest in a lip product, especially since I purchase most of my products from the drugstore for $6 and under. Besides, I'm from the school of thought that there is a duplicate out there somewhere for most of the big name beauty products. But, I decided to splurge so I headed to Sephora to make my purchase. I must admit it's a nice nude color, not sticky and I like how it looks on my lips. I do have one complaint though, it STINKS! Smells just like paint AND primer. Funny how none of the vloggers on youtube mentioned this lil fact...

Chobani Yogurt:

I'm new to eating yogurt and recently have been trying greek yogurt. I wanted to try Chobani yogurt just to see what the big fuss was about. I normally buy greek yogurt when it's sale and Chobani just so happen to be on sale last week. I must admit it tastes better than Dannon's, Yoplait and the store brands I've had before. I did notice a side effect though. It leaves my lips looking like Tyrone Biggums.

After finishing a container of Chobani, my oldest daughter asked what was wrong with my lips. I walked past the mirror and sure enough, Tyrone was looking back at me. So if I buy this brand again, I'll restrict myself to eating it at home only.

EOS lip balm

I love this stuff! I purchased this one for my bathroom and another for my purse. It glides on smooth and due to it's ball shape, you can moisturize both lips at the same time. Plus it smells wonderful.

Clinique Even Better Clinical Dark Spot Corrector

Another pricey product ($49.50) I decided to purchase but the jury is still out on this one. I've been taking pictures every week to track changes, it seems like the spots are fading but they are not completely gone. I plan to see my dermatologist soon for additional help.

Johnson's Shea & Cocoa Butter Baby Oil Gel

This stuff right here? Right here? Is wonderful! I fell in love years ago with baby oil gel but this combination takes the cake! I love the scent, its perfect. I like to apply it right after the shower, goes on smooth and absorbs fairly quickly in the skin.

So there ya have it.

I'm going through changes

2011-03-07T21:01:00.000-06:00

My blog that is. You can now find me at www.heytonda.com *round of applause*

Yeah, it was about time.

Make a wish...

2011-03-06T21:00:00.000-06:00

I recall being a child and remembering that dandelions were very pretty. Maybe it's a little girl thing because most home owners do not appreciate dandelions. I use to make wishes on dandelions, that was until my mom told me to stop because it spread weeds. Till this day I see little girls blowing dandelions like its the coolest thing next to blowing bubbles.

Before my ex-husband and I divorced, we initially separated and it was hard on my daughters, they went from a two parent home to one over night. My oldest daughter was 3 at the time and the youngest daughter was still in diapers and bottles. My oldest was full of questions but the youngest, not so much. From that point on their faces would light up whenever they saw him and when they had to leave him, they could not understand why mommy and daddy could not be together.

Initially it was hard and frustrating trying to explain to them why daddy's not here anymore. I lost my cool plenty of times, became frustrated and shed a few tears but I've learned to cope. I did my best to make sure my girls adjusted to their new life, I explained that he still loved them and would see them when he could but we just wouldn't be in the same home anymore. It was no easy task that's for damn sure.

I recall during the 2nd year of the separation I took my girls to the park. Dandelions were scattered about everywhere and seem to be a kid magnet, so my daughters were naturally drawn to them. They immediately begun making wishes blowing dandelion after dandelion. I thought it was funny, they've never seen me do such a thing but here they were doing the exact same thing I use to do as a little girl. I looked on and continue to reminisce about my childhood and was thankful it was not my duty to maintain this lawn. I stood there and watched my youngest, she was really having a good time with the dandelions. She picked up another and with the sweetest little voice imaginable made her next wish, "I wish my daddy was here." She said with a big smile as she blew her dandelion.

My heart stung just a little bit.

I smiled at her, told her she'll see her daddy soon. It was no lie, he had a trip planned to come visit them soon. My oldest came to me with a dandelion and excitedly said, "Mommy, make a wish!"

So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled and made my wish. "I want my girls to be happy." I said to myself and it was more a prayer than a wish. My daughter again repeated, "Mommy, make a wish."

"I did."

"No, I didn't hear you, you have to say it out loud, like this." She proceeded to make a wish aloud and blew on a dandelion. So I said my prayer aloud, "I want my girls to be happy." She and her sister thought it was funny and giggled. I tickled them and we continued to play, blowing dandelions and making more wishes.

My wish, my prayer, my promise, my girls will be happy.

On this journey

2011-03-01T17:04:00.000-06:00

I'm tackling this whole ~~diet~~ healthy eating issue. How do I go about getting the flat ripped belly that I desire without eating foods that make my eyes sad just to look at them or starving myself?
I've browsed a few blogs and youtube accounts over the weekend and encountered lots of recipes that just look weird and or have portion sizes that seem unrealistic. I do not want to spend hours throughout the day with that hungry feeling.

Although I experienced weight loss with my former eating habits, I never acquired the 6 pack abs look, so a new approach is necessary. I suppose my body will get to the point where I enjoy the taste of these new, weird and foreign foods ~~the same way I now enjoy beer~~. I recall the switch from white to wheat bread as a young teen. It was the hardest thing to do in my life! It tasted...brown. I know brown is a color but as a teen if I had to assign a taste to brown, it would taste exactly like wheat bread. I eventually got over it and today I eat and enjoy whole grain wheat on a regular.

I hope I can find a happy medium between delicious foods and fit foods. As I try new recipes I'll post them here and give you my opinion of them.

The new thing I'm trying this week is giving up my beloved coffee. This is epic! I've been drinking coffee for a good 12 years now. I've tried to quit numerous times before but the headaches and cravings became too much for me so I quickly reverted back to my addiction. But this is day 2 and I have not suffered from any headaches. I wonder what kind of an impact this will have on my weight loss and body shape?

From Good to Amazing.

2011-02-27T15:08:00.000-06:00

2011 will be the year I breakout a bikini! And not just taking it out the closet, I plan to wear it outside. I entertained that thought over and over in my head. It's a shame, when I had the body to rock a bikini I chose not to because I felt self conscious and now that the body is gone, I really want to wear a bikini.

Well life happens. Before I got married I was a size 10 and weighed 150lbs. Well after 2 kids and a divorce I hovered around 165lbs and a size 12. I kept myself in decent enough shape but not the best. Although, after my second baby I went from weighing 192lbs the day before giving birth to weighing 145lbs four months later. I didn't have the washboard stomach but it was flat.

In 2010 I made that my year to get slim and trim...again. I weighed 172lbs in Jan 2010 and got down to 159lbs by June 2010. This has changed again so now I'm currently at 164lbs and a size 12. This year my goal is to show some skins and be transformed. But how exactly will I accomplish this? Granted I'm no newbie when it comes to working out, I started out doing Jane Fonda's Step Aerobic Workout as a young teenager.

Ya'll remember Jane Fonda right?

But I couldn't help but wonder if my current routine would get me the results I desired. I workout at home using a combination of weights, circuit training and when the weather gets warmer, running. I recently jumped on the kettlebell bandwagon starting with a kettlebell routine found in the September 2010 issue of Women's Health magazine and then moved to a Jillian Michaels dvd.

I thought of the P90X infomercials. P90X is all over the internet with people posting their transformation videos and pictures. I hoped "tv's toughest trainer" would have a few people doing the same with her videos. So youtubed reviews/transformations for Jillian Michaels kettlebell dvd and couldn't find anything. So I tried Google and found an interesting link on yumyucky.com, still no JM transformations but more like a caution to her kettlebell workout. Great, now what?

So I hit the home page link on yumyucky.com and saw the bikini body challenge.

TADAAAAAA!!!!

I read the blog, let it marinate and begin to imagine myself strutting out at the water park or on a beach in my sexy bikini---without my cute cover-up. So I hit the comment button and said I'm down. I'm still working out the details on how I will accomplish this feat but I want it so I'll find a way to get-r-done.

So this is me this morning:

Now the journey begins...

So I'm back on the fitness wagon

2011-02-06T08:49:00.000-06:00

Well... I was 20% on the wagon since August, so I'm working my way back up to 100. I've deemed myself a yo-yo-dieter-exerciser-weight-loss/gain-person.

And it sucks.

My journey began in December 2009 exercised and ate right faithfully until the beginning of February 2010, took a nose dive that month and picked up the pieces in March, continued until June and fell off midway through July. I hovered around 20% since August. Well 5 pounds later and the noticeable difference in my ~~belly~~ figure, I'm determined to get back on this horse and remain there!

Internet acronyms...GTFOHWTBS

2010-08-07T17:22:00.000-05:00

Just when I was getting use to lol (laugh out loud), lmao (laughing my ass off), brb (be right back) and ttyl (talk to ya later), I began to see an emergence of internet slang that was unfamiliar to me. It was on twitter that I first saw lulz and lls.

"I'mma go to your crib and piss on your lawn, lulz"

"damn i aint even showered yet ok im bout to jump in jump out lls"

I had to reach back into my elementary education...digging out my 2nd and 3rd grade years to recall the lesson about context clues, you know where you can try to figure out the meaning of a unfamiliar word by looking at the words or sentences around it. Well even with all that digging, I still couldn't tell what lls meant but I guessed that lulz must be similar to lol, but had no clue what words the letters represented. So I Googled it and found out that the letters in lulz don't stand for anything but the term itself means "lol". So...we have another acronym for an acronym? Talk about something being too stupid for words. And lls means, "Laughing Like Sh*t." I'm not feeling that one, the full version doesn't sound catchy so why would I use the shorten one? I'll pass on both.

It was also on twitter that I saw FML and FTW being used a lot.

"FML I lost my phone."

"At the gym and I forgot to take off my shananay makeup. FML."

"Peanut Butter Cookies FTW"

"Who even plays xbox, anymore? PS3 FTW"

Yeah I drew blanks on those terms, so I asked around and learned that FML stands for, "F*ck My Life" and FTW means "For The Win." FML is too exaggerated so I'll pass on using that one. And although FTW seems like it should be used only in sports, I've used it a few times, usually in regards to food. Besides, home made peanut butter cookies is definitely a win in my book.

It seems as if acronyms are created ~~instantly~~ daily, I wouldn't be surprised if people started making up their own and began using it as if everyone else was familiar with it's meaning. If only you know what an acronym means then you shouldn't toss it around facebook, twitter, yahoo, tumbler, or whatever your preferred medium is without an explanation first, ok?

GTFOHWTBS

Now I must admit of all the acronyms I've come across, GTFOHWTBS was the easiest and also the most ridiculous to figure out. Yeah I know I couldn't figure out the shorter ones but, Get The F*ck Outta Here With That Bull Sh*t, took little time to decipher despite the fact it equals to about half a sentence. Perhaps it resonated with me on some level.

I miss whole words and regular conversations, I can't get down with most of the newest internet acronyms without feeling like I'm too old to be using them. So what are your thoughts, have you ever met an acronym that you didn't like?

They like me...they really like me

2010-07-12T19:14:00.000-05:00

I received a pleasant surprise the other day on facebook when one of my online friend's tagged me in a note for the Black Weblog Awards. She nominated me for best personal blog!

I felt and still feel all kinds of honored. I write just because, I share what's on my heart and mind and for someone to feel it's special enough to warrant an award...well who am I to argue? LOL

So on that note, I'm requesting your vote for best personal blog. Click the link to start the voting process www.blackweblog.com and vote for me for best personal blog.

The finish line

2010-06-24T21:33:00.000-05:00

So I was trying to wait until my race photos posted on the web before writing my post but looks like there's no such photo of me *le sigh* But enough pouting.

So race day was finally here! I'd been awake since 3:30am, outta bed since 5am, out my house since 6am and now it's 6:48am and I'm waiting at the start line for the race to begin. I lined up with the 10 minute mile group, granted the bulk of my training runs were at a sub 10 pace but after I got my new running shoes, I couldn't run at that pace any more so the 10 minute group seemed ideal.

I was nervous. My left side hurt from my shoulder down to my lower back and had been hurting all morning, walking and stretching didn't help. I suspected I was tense and tried to tell myself to relax but it was nearly impossible. After all I was alone despite being surrounded by thousands of people, I was doing this run alone. No girlfriend, no running support group, just me out there alone with my thoughts. Sure I had the encouraging words of my beloved, family and friends but they were not here. In that moment I missed them all but I couldn't dwell on that. I had to finish this race and block out this pain in my body. I told myself that once the race begins I'll forget about the pain, the sadness and can concentrate on getting to the finish line.

Thirty seconds till start, time to load up my iPod but not for the music, only to track my run. Being outside with so many people, I felt I didn't need the music, the surroundings and people were enough entertainment. I heard the announcer state we would have a silent start meaning a dropped flagged would signal the start. I couldn't see the start line from where I stood but eventually the people in front of me started to move and so did I. Before you know it the start line was right ahead of me..and then behind me.

Soo excited!

So many people surrounded me...too many, I felt packed in. I tried to maneuver through the crowd so I could get some space and get into my running pace, I knew I was running slower then a 10 minute mile. I spotted an opening just to the front and right of me, I prepared to make a move for it but ya know running is almost like driving, you gotta look before you make a move. I looked to the rear of me and then the side but just then a lil boy cut me off and I found myself nearly coming to a complete stop to avoid running him over. He looked back at me but kept on running, I eventually made my move and had some breathing room.

The first mile was pretty easy, I ran it in 9 minutes 37 seconds. Soon I rounded the 2 mile marker and stopped to get some water, the water break wasn't the smoothest, I nearly collided with another runner. The third mile also known as the 5K marker was a bit of a struggle, as I approached the check point I saw that my time was a little over 31 minutes, my goal was to finish the race in under 39 minutes. I told myself to pick up the pace, now was not the time to be slowing down.

So onward I continued. Soon I passed the, "800 Meters remaining" sign, I smiled and ran a lil faster. As I got closer to the finish line I could hear the announcer announcing runners and their times. I thought to myself wouldn't it be cool if he announced my name as I approached the finish line...but he didn't :-(

I rounded the corner and could see a mat identical to the one I crossed at the starting line, however the finish line was yards away. I crossed the mat at 39:41(chip time) and made it across the finish line at 40:47.

Although I can't find a photo of me crossing the finish line, I came across this:

Fast forward to 3:20, I'm in the middle wearing black capri pants and a pink/orange top crossing right under the Reebox sign.

I was hot, sweaty but proud.! As I made my way towards the back to get a bottle of water I thought to myself, "Man I can't wait for the next one".

The night before

2010-06-18T22:05:00.000-05:00

Well...tomorrow morning is the big day. I'm nervous and excited but mostly nervous. All my training will be on display at 7am and hopefully for less than 40 minutes. My mind is full of questions... How will I do? Will it rain? Will I get the "Uh oh gotta go now" feeling?

LOL, my mind can be my best friend or my worst enemy.

My last run was yesterday and it went well. I ran 1.77 miles and it took 19 minutes. I'm still concerned about my time being slower than usual. However at this point I want to finish in under 39 minutes....yeah 39 minutes.

So that's all for now folks, see ya at the finish line.

4miles in!

2010-06-12T11:08:00.000-05:00

Took a lil longer than expected but I did it! I slowed my pace because I wanted to finish, I went from 9'30" miles to 11' and it worked. Now the 2 big dips on the chart are my water breaks. Since it's warmer out and I'm running longer, I get thirsty and that intense thirst, dry mouth feeling is not pleasant or easy to block out. I bought my water bottle with me and left it on the track (yeah I wasn't running with it) and took a few sips when I really needed it.

I noticed my toes started to hurt a lil around the 3rd mile, I wasn't sure if I was gripping my toes inside my shoes so I tried to keep my foot relaxed as I ran. I also ran in my race day outfit :-) a cute pink and orange racer back top with some black capri pants...yeah dope!

Later that night my feet and thighs hurt but especially my feet. And silly me with no Epsom salt in the house and I didn't want to take a bath without it so I decided on a hot shower. I used some peppermint castile soap, while in the shower and rubbed my feet real good with it. Not sure of the impact the soap had but it felt good, afterwards I took some ibuprofen and felt much better in the morning.

So I have a few more runs to go, I want to attempt another 4 mile today (Saturday) and then do light, fun runs the week of the race. Oh yeah and I purchased some Epsom salt too.

My thighs are mad at me! 06/01/10 run

2010-06-02T16:12:00.000-05:00

So in my last blog, I vowed to get some running shorts, shoes and a new sports bra. Well....two outta three ain't bad.

Check 1: Shoes

I went to a local running shop here in town, figured it was best for me to get a professional fitting. Yes, I've researched magazines and read reviews but working with a professional versus trying to remember everything I've read about all the shoes I read about, was worth the visit. The staff was extremely friendly and thorough, they observed my run, scanned my feet to check for pressure points and made recommendations based on that information. I learned that I put waaaay more pressure on my right foot than my left, not sure why though.

So I tried on a few pairs and decided to go with the Reebox Premier Road Supreme shoe and I'm pretty happy with it despite the fact I had to go up one whole shoe size. The professionals at the store suggested having a thumbs width amount of space from my big toe to the top of the shoe to allow for swelling, I never knew that. So once home I couldn't wait to try out the shoes and decided to go out for a test run.

Check 2: Running shorts

Finally got some running shorts...and they are short! I figured since I lost a few pounds, I felt confident enough to wear short shorts again. I decided on a pair of all black shorts and a pair of gray shorts with a teal colored seam. I figured I would test out the black shorts along with the new running shoes and use the gray pair as my run outfit on race day.

Check 3: New bra

Well I didn't purchase a back up bra, however my good bra was clean so I'm still good.

The Run:

My goal for today was three miles, I wanted to get one more three mile run in before attempting a four mile run. Well as you can see from my run graph, I didn't quite make it. The reason? Those cute lil black shorts and that "gotta go right now" feeling. And yes I mean the, "Man if I don't make it to a restroom NOW, there will be consequences and repercussions." feeling.

The first mile was strong and my fastest yet, I think I may have pushed it just a tad bit too hard because I struggled more than usual during the second mile...despite the circumstances. You see those black shorts kept creeping up and I was constantly pulling down the front. The material would bunch up so much that I could feel the insides of my inner thighs rubbing against each other as they fought like two five year olds.

"You move out my way!"
"No you move outta mine!"
"No, I was here first."
"Nun un, I was! I'm telling!"

I looked down and my thighs were turning red---not sexy. So I slowed to do a wide leg walk (also not sexy) to yet again pull the shorts down. But as soon as I would take off running the "gotta go now" feeling would hit. Now I've never had the urge to use the bathroom while running, never. So for the majority of mile two I had to adjust my shorts and slow to a walk to alleviate the "gotta go" feeling. Eventually I had to stop, my thighs ached and now so did my belly.

Needless to say the gray shorts are going back, I have to keep the black ones since I used them, maybe they won't irritate me so bad once my thighs shrink a little more.

Another 3 miler....05/26/10 run

2010-05-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

Aight I'm back! Rain and my vacation kept me off the tracks but I picked up where I left off.

I was a lil worried during my run. I didn't take any allergy or asthma medicines prior to going out and it had been more than a week since my last run. I set my iPod for 3 miles but debated doing two and attempting three at a later time. However, I quickly decided to just go for it, if I felt like stopping after two miles I would, but my goal would remain three.

So off I went, shortly after the first mile I began to feel hot. I had on two sports bras, new socks and my running pants. I wore the two bras because my good sports bra wasn't clean and if I wore either of the two bras alone, they wouldn't offer me much support. It's not like I'm walking around slinging double d's but my girls still need some support. However those two bras still managed to fail me because now my chest was getting warm, I tried not to think about it, but then my feet and legs decided to join the warm party.

Great!

I made a mental note to purchase another sports bra and get some running shorts this weekend. I knew why my chest was hot but I couldn't explain the hot feet. The new socks were the same brand that I've worn before and never had a issue with but today I felt like I was wearing a really thick pair of socks.

And yet I pushed on, but during the third mile I had to slow down for walk breaks, I felt too hot and heavy plus I had to catch my breath. I managed to complete the three miles within 29 minutes, 7 seconds. I want to do one more three mile run before I attempt to do four. I still have three weeks left before the race and I'm positive I'll run the four miles without stopping for walk breaks.

3 miles in- 31 days left before the run

2010-05-18T11:31:00.000-05:00

3 miles in and it wasn't that bad and quite frankly I'm proud of myself. Prior to training for the race, I haven't ran since jr. high...well unless you count running after my kids but other than that I have not hit the pavement in nearly 20 years.

When I attempted to run back in March I struggled, it took me about 15 minutes to run one mile...and that was with numerous stops and walking breaks. My run on Monday was at a 8'47" pace, I finished a total of 3 miles in 26 minutes 31 seconds. I've come a long way and I'm damn proud.

Toning down my training schedule by taking a day of rest in between runs has saved me in the recovery department. My knees and shins no longer ache during a run and soreness is to a minimum the day after a run. My only issue is my left ankle, it tends to feel a lil sore the day after a run but I suspect it may be my shoes. Currently I run in some cross trainers but I'll buy a pair of running shoes and see if it helps with my ankle.

I know I'll be running 4 miles by the end of the first week in June and I'm excited about it :-)

05/07 and 05/11 Runs, what a difference a little rest makes.

2010-05-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

My run on May 7th occurred at the park on the walking path. It was cold, windy and my daughter's and I were the only people at the park. I sat in my car for a second contemplating if I should do this run. I mean even the basketball players were missing. I surveyed the empty park and started coming up with excuses:

1. I sat in a cold office all day and I really didn't want to be directly in the cold

2. There's no one here, probably because it's that cold

3. I can run tomorrow

4. It's cold!

*sigh* My girls hopped out the car and took off for the playground. I reluctantly got out and walked towards the path. I told myself to cheer up, besides once I start running I won't even feel the cold. I set my iPod to 2.5 miles, loaded up my running play list and warmed up with a walk.

After my warm-up I started to jog slowly. I wanted to complete this workout without slowing for a walk-break. Yes, I know walk-breaks are not a bad thing and prevent injuries but I felt like my left foot and ankle could handle the run without slowing for a break.

And they did. My ankle and foot felt fine throughout the run, I didn't even have pain in my shins throughout the run. I smiled on the inside, after I hit the 2 mile mark I decided to slow down and walk, my intent was to walk for a few seconds but my youngest daughter had other plans. She ran to me doing the "pee-pee dance" and I had to end the workout.

Today's run was even better, no pain and I ran 2.5 miles without stopping. Well, I had to take off my jacket because I got too hot (thus the dip in the graph) but I picked it back up. I'm getting my mojo back, the 4 mile mark is getting closer and closer.

5/5/10 Run: I learned a few things

2010-05-06T14:51:00.000-05:00

Since my last run I've learned a few things:

1. The correct term is shinsplints not "shin splits" as I referred to in one of my previous blogs, I've since corrected my mistake.

2. A walk/run is a good thing and helps prevents injuries. I read this in the May issue of Runner's World pg 34, "strategic walk breaks allows your body to adapt and recover, which reduces the risk of muscle damage."

3. Distance runners tend to lose toenails or have toes nails that are black. Can you imagine seeing a person with sandals on that had a few toenails missing...or black toenails?

4. The co-founder of Twitter, Biz Stone is a runner, he's also featured in the May issue of Runner's World in the I'm a Runner section.

So here's my run from yesterday:

Pre-run routine:

Ate 1 slice of whole wheat bread with peanut butter one hour before run

Did myrtle routine about 40 minutes before run

Sipped some amounts of water leading up to the run

Took allergy and asthma medicines about 20 minutes before run

Yes I continued to take walk breaks. My left foot still ached from my last run on Monday, the pain wasn't horrible but it was noticeable. I kept this in mind as I started my jog, I told myself that walk breaks would be inevitable if the pain in my ankle increased...and it did. Shortly into the 2nd lap of my 1st mile, my ankle started to ache even more. I eased up and decided to take it down to a strong walk but picked up my pace after 200 meters or so.

This went on for the duration of my run and once again I ran the last 400 meters without taking a walk break. However, I noticed at the end of the run my legs were in considerably less pain than my previous runs. I don't feel bad about the run because the walk breaks added less than a minute to the time it normally takes me to run 2 miles non-stop.

I haven't given up on running without walk breaks but I feel the walk breaks can help me in the long run. I'm confident that I can get up to 4 miles by race day, I have 5 weeks left I can do it.

Next run will be Friday, another 2.5 miler.

5/3/10 RUN---Pain free again? NOT!

2010-05-03T21:55:00.000-05:00

Today's run didn't go exactly as planned, actually it was nothing like I planned. You see all those dips in my picture? Those were all walk breaks. Normally, I can run a mile without feeling like I want a break and I can push myself through to 2 miles without stopping for a walk break. But today? There was no pushing though today and I don't know why. After my pain free run on Monday I just knew I would have the same success today, but today's run had something new planned for me.

Shortly after my 2nd lap around the track, my ankles started to hurt and the left one really hurt. WTH? I've never had ankle pain during a run, I kept going and eventually I didn't notice it but it only lasted a moment because it quickly came back shortly into my 3rd lap. So I slowed down to walk and as I walked, my mind raced through my day leading up to the run. I realized I didn't do my strength routine prior to hitting the track. With my last few runs, I started the myrtle routine found here: Myrtle Routine. Normally I don't stretch prior to running and today was no different, I did my usual warm-up, a brisk walk once around the track before running. Did skipping the myrtle routine make that much of a difference with my performance today? I took note of how my stomach felt, it seemed full. I thought back to my meal, I didn't have my usual pre-run snack (hand full of almonds or a slice of bread with peanut butter and water) instead I had 2 slices of bread with turkey bologna and a few sips of water. All of this was consumed about an hour before my run. Could my meal be the culprit? Did I over eat or run too soon after eating?

As I pondered my meal I felt like I could run again so after 100 or so meters I attempted to run...but then my calves started to ached. I shook my head as I slowed to a walk yet again and wondered why am I all of a sudden having pain in areas that have never hurt before during a run? I continued my walk/run pattern for the remainder of my run and somehow managed to run the last 400 meters without the lower half of my body quitting on me.

Now normally I walk once around the track as a cool down after reaching my goal but today I skipped it. Once I reached 2.5 miles I got off the track to stretch and went home immediately afterwards. Once home, I did the myrtle routine, stretched some more and popped a few ibuprofens.

Perhaps I was doing too much or it could have been an off day for me. My next run is scheduled for Wednesday morning and it's another 2.5 miles. I'll do the strength routine prior to running and eat my usual pre-run meal. We'll see what difference it makes.

5-1-10 Running pain free

2010-05-02T10:01:00.000-05:00

For the 1st time since I began running, I had no pain today. My shins didn't ache, my knees felt normal and I was pain free run for the entire run. The soreness didn't come until the following day and even it wasn't that bad. I think the pain free results may have something to do with me giving my body a day of rest between my last run or possibly the new run gear I recently received. My new socks had more cushioning and were thicker than the ones I normally run in. My shirt was lighter and I felt cool the entire run. I didn't realize that one of my run shirts was made of 95% cotton and cotton is a big no-no when it comes to running attire because it holds in heat and sweat.

My 1st mile went well, I felt pretty confident but started to tire shortly into the 2nd mile. I found myself needing a break so I slowed my pace down as seen by the big dip on my chart above. Once I was able to catch my breath, I picked up the pace.

It's funny, I find myself making deals with myself during my 2 mile runs. Whenever I feel like stopping or walking I try to coach myself through it. I remind myself that I've done this before without stopping and can do it again. Or I'll say wait until my last lap then maybe I'll stop to walk. But then I'll hear my iPod say, "500 meters to go" and I'll tell myself that I'm almost done, I can finish this, no sense in stopping now. And before you know it I've run 2 miles without stopping or walking.

With this run and the last one, I noticed that my end point doesn't match the beginning point. I may need to recalibrate my Nike+ sensor so that it keeps a more accurate reading. I usually start timing my runs at the beginning of the track and on my last run when Nike+ announced I completed my workout, I knew I had at least 100 or so meters to go, so I ran beyond the "end" point.

My next run is Monday, I'm aiming for 2.5 miles.

4-29-10 Run....Oops! Forgot my Nike+ Sensor

2010-04-29T21:32:00.000-05:00

Well... I don't have a nifty picture of my run, you see I forgot my Nike+ Sensor (in Homer Simpson voice) doh!

What is a Nike+ Sensor? Well, it's a workout tool used with your iPod or a Nike+ SportBand, it tracks your pace, distance, time and calories burned. Used in conjunction with the nikerunning.com website, you get a visual history of your runs, (the picture graphs that I've posted on previous posts). It's actually quite nice and I love it. But trust me, you don't need it to start running. Below is a picture of the sensor and receiver:

Nike+ sensor and receiver

You attach the receiver to your iPod:

And the sensor goes inside of your Nike+ shoes but if you don't have a pair (like me) you can get a shoe pouch, insert the sensor and attach it to your running shoes:

Silly me, I left all my Nike equipment at home *sigh* and I didn't realize it until I started my warm up and saw that the shoe pouch was missing. I debated for a brief second of going back home for it but quickly realized it would be foolish to do so. I decided to use the stop watch feature on my iPod, pulled up my 20 minute play list and started to run.

Almost immediately my knees and shins ached. I blocked it out, this pain normally comes at the beginning of my runs but quickly passes...or at least until I no longer recognize it. Today also seemed to be the warmest, windiest and sunniest day ever, (at least in my brief run history of 1 month). I felt a flush feeling come over me about 4 minutes in my run, I'm starting to think this must be a side effect of the albuterol, ever since I started taking it I've experienced the flush feeling with each run since. It doesn't last very long so I continue to run as normal.

I ran 1.5 miles before I I slowed to walk, my shins started to ache again followed by my knees and this time there was no ignoring them. I begin to wonder if I had a shinsplint and if I should adjust my workout plan. Perhaps my training schedule is too aggressive, I am afterall new to running, it's only been a month and I'm already running 2 miles in roughly 18 minutes. I'm hardheaded though, I told myself I could stand to be in pain for a few minutes until I completed my run. So I attempted to run one more time but ultimately my knees and shins won. I had to walk the last 300 meters and with each step my shins and knees felt like I had lead in them, they felt heavy and achy. I stopped the timer after 18'32". Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Today's Run 4-27-2010 Oh my knees....

2010-04-27T17:38:00.000-05:00

I ran another 2 miles this morning. I must admit I had my worries, I just ran 2 miles the evening before and now here I am running again only 15 hours later. And to top it off my knees are still achy, but I decided to run anyway. I took the albuterol, ate a slice of whole wheat bread with peanut butter, drank some water and did some strength training before heading out to the track.

This morning it was also colder, I opted for my long sleeve shirt with a sleeveless hooded jacket and some pants as my running attire. I told myself to take it slow and be mindful of my knees (I might need those later). As I started my run, I wondered if I should just do 1 mile but quickly dismissed the idea and decided I could do 2.

I ran at a slow steady pace of 9'17", I can usually run the first mile without feeling like I want to stop but shortly into the 2nd mile--- I always feel like stopping and walking. But I talk myself through it, I keep telling myself if I stop now I'll never get past this "wanting to quit" point and I'll never grow...so I keep running. Well you know...I mentally talk myself though it, I don't need people looking at me with a side eye as I pass them by saying stuff out loud to myself like, "I'm strong! I can do this! I've done Jillian Michaels workouts, I kick tail!"

So I made it through the run without stopping for a walk break. My knees ached and I decided to walk around the track until I could breath normally again. I stretched a bit at the car and once again when I got home, I also applied ice to my knees and plan to do it again later in the day.

I don't run tomorrow (thank God) besides my knees need the rest and I need to get more ice.

Today's run 4-26-2010

2010-04-26T19:05:00.000-05:00

My Nike+ sensor said I ran 2 miles in 18'02", (a new record for a 2 mile run) with an average pace of 9'00" per mile. Once again I took my albuterol prior to running and it made a big difference with my breathing. I can breath without feeling like my breath is short and this allowed me to run without stopping for walk breaks. I started off slower during the first mile and bumped it up a bit during the 2nd mile so I could finish strong.

I need to remind myself to hit the menu button on my ipod after each mile so I can track my times better. The Nike+ sensor tracks my pace, distance and calories while I run however when I transfer the info to the nikerunning.com website the times are slightly off.

Anyway, I'm due to run another 2 miles tomorrow. I noticed some knee pain after this last run and I'm getting a lil concerned because I had knee pain after my Saturday run. I plan to start icing my knees after each run and see if that will make a difference with the pain.

Today's run 4-24-10

2010-04-24T19:03:00.001-05:00

I felt strong the first 4 minutes but then my face felt hot and sweat seemed to pour from my head. Although it was cool and damp out, I felt like I was having a hot flash around the 4 minute mark. I wondered if my medicine had something to do with the way I was feeling? You see I suspect I may have exercised induced asthma. Now I know that running is hard, shortness of breath and labored breathing are probably the norm...but my breathlessness didn't seem right, I really felt like I struggled hard just to breath. I recall one run where I coughed so fiercely afterward that I swore my lungs were on their way up. I had to take albuterol after that particular run, but today I decided to try the albuterol before running. I took the medicine about 15 minutes before my run and I also tried some fish oil pills about 30 minutes before the run. I don't know if the meds are the culprit behind the hot flash or perhaps I just pushed myself too hard. I'll try taking the fish oil tablets hours before my next run but still try the albuterol just before.

However, I feel the albuterol helped. I noticed an improvement with my breathing, it was easier and I didn't have to struggle so hard to catch my breath. So I'll keep the albuterol treatments going until I talk to my doctor about my issue.

Today marked another personal best. I ran the first mile in 8'52" however the 2nd mile was a bit of a struggle and took longer than usual. I stopped to walk a few times, I think running hard in the beginning made it harder for me to finish. I have to find that perfect pace that allows me to finish strong.

My next run is scheduled for Monday, 2 miles, matter of fact all next week I'm scheduled to run 2 miles each day for 5 days. Not 5 days in a row but 5 days none the less, not sure how that's gonna fly, I may adjust the schedule to run every other day. I'm following a coaching plan I received from Nikerunning.com, it's suppose to be a beginner plan made for people who are new or have very little experience at running, however it doesn't seem like a novice schedule. I must admit that I haven't followed the schedule to the letter. It suggest some general strength training but I usually omit those. Starting next week I'll do the strength training before my run and see if it helps.

So I found a bone in my backyard...

2010-04-23T18:31:00.000-05:00

It all started this past winter. My neighbor's children told my daughters that I had a bone in my backyard, yes a bone. I recall one cold winter day, my girls were in the backyard with the neighbor's kids, I stood at my window looking out at them, hell it was cold and snowy, I wasn't going out there. So I watched them as they stood there looking down at something in the snow, they looked up and said, "It's a bone!"

A bone? Yeah right. I quickly dismissed the idea, those kids don't know what they're talking 'bout. I yelled for them to go back to the front of the house. I looked at the object from my window and wondered what it could be. Probably a stick, I assured myself and went back to my business.

All winter long the kids insisted it was a bone and I just knew they were wrong but never went outside to go look, after all I was the logical one and the adult (that's gotta count for something right?) I figured whatever it was could wait until the snow melted.

Well spring arrived, the snow was gone and I could see every inch of my yard, including all the dandelions that popped up. I looked from my window wondering where's the grass, when it caught my eye, the "bone" that intrigued my daughters along with the other neighborhood children. Once again I stared at it from my kitchen window. Hmmm, maybe it is a bone, perhaps a turkey leg or something? After all it was pretty big and boney looking. However, I still was in no hurry to go check it out. It, whatever it may be, could wait.

So one weekend I'm out in the backyard spraying the weeds. I started at the side of my yard that was closes to the fence that separated my yard from my neighbors. My girls and a few of their friends came into the backyard to check out the "bone" again. They gathered around it and finally declared that it was a deer. My oldest daughter then called to me and told me about their discovery. I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, Wow these kids are really silly! Why would a deer bone be in my backyard? I told them to step away from it and go play in the front. Well since I'm out here might as well look at it myself. As soon as the kids left, I walked over to it and looked down at it....

It wasn't a bone....it was a leg.

I squinted at it, must be some type of animal leg...a dog maybe? It still had hair on it, light brown to be exact. I stood there puzzled, wondering how it got there. I looked back down at it, this thing has got to go! But damn! Today was Saturday, garbage pick-up was yesterday, I can't let it sit here all week long. What if dogs came to pick at it, what if the kids decided to pick it up...what if maggots started growing from it?

Yuck! Maggots!

I went inside my house and got a couple of 30 gallon garbage bags and some gloves. Went back to the leg and frowned down at it. I really did not want to touch it, I mean sure I have gloves on and 2 garbage bags but still...it's gross. I opened one of the bags and used the other to grab the leg and lifted it into the bag.

Ewww! It stinks.

The smell invaded my nostrils as I maneuvered the leg inside the bag. All the while I looked down at it, (sorry couldn't help it) when I lifted the leg I saw what appeared to be a hoof at the end of it. It was very black and shiny, so it had to be a hoof. As the leg fell in I wondered if indeed it was a deer. Once it hit the bottom of the bag I quickly tied it shut and placed that bag inside of the bag I used to grab with. I knew there was no way in hell I was having a smelly, rotting leg sit inside my garbage can for a week, but where to put it? I looked over at the fence that separated my yard from my neighbors. I decided to leave the bag near the fence (on my side of course). I just prayed no dogs would come trying to rip the bag open. Later, I went back and bagged it inside a brown yard waste bag but still left it outside till trash day.

I guess those silly kids were right all along....silly me.

Once upon a time...I played a game of wolf.

2010-03-24T10:45:00.000-05:00

Today I ran a mile and survived. I feel good, achy but most of all accomplished...followed closely by achy.

You see this year for the first time in my life, I'm signing up for a 4 mile race and I'm excited! The race is June 19 and I figured I better start training now. I have a pair of running socks, running shoes, and a Nike+ sensor. If you want to know more about the sensor click here.

Today's goal was to calibrate my Nike+ sensor by walking a mile and running a mile. The sensor is brand spanking new and comes preset but to get the most accurate reading I had to calibrate it. It consists of 2 pieces, once that goes in your Nike+ shoe or on your laces and the other piece attaches to your iPod.

To prepare for my run, I got dressed in layers; a pair of stretch pants, a pair of loose fitting pants on top, a long fitted tee-shirt and a jacket. Sounds like a lot but it's still pretty brisk in the mornings, (only 45 today) as long as it's above freezing my layers should keep me warm without causing me to over heat.

I made it to the track, took out my iPod and went to walking. The walk was fairly easy, my body was warm with the exception of my hands,they were freezing! I tried to pull my jacket sleeves down over them as I walked to the music. I managed to finish my mile in 17 minutes.

Next was the run, as I started my first lap I begin to reminisce about my grade school days as I recalled playing a game called Wolf. Wolf was basically a tag game but with partners, same rules applied though, if you got tagged you were out. I would always be one of the last people out---I was that fast. But today as I finished my first lap and started breathing harder, I was reminded that I am not a little child, I wondered if I could make it around the track without stopping. I pushed through my doubt and began the 2nd lap. During my 2nd lap my ear plugs started coming out, so I stopped to adjust them. I needed the break, I had to catch my breath.

Once the plugs were back in place I took off again. I noticed that I was getting warm, my hands were no longer cold like they were during the walk. My breathing became harder, my chest ached, I figured I better slow down. So I slowed to a brisk walk as my mind wondered, this is tougher than it seems, can I really run 4 miles at once? I looked down at my iPod, I still have not made it to the one mile mark yet--damn!

I made it half way through my 3rd lap before my ear plugs started slipping out again. I walked as I once again adjusted my ear plugs, I told myself I may need to invest in another pair because the slippage was ticking me off just a tad.

I had to stop once more during my last lap, I didn't think I would make it. As I finished I felt exhausted! Sweat dripped down my face as my lungs and thighs decided to scold me. As I walked back to my car I knew I had a long way to go to reach the 4 mile marker but I'll get there.

So....

2010-03-21T16:34:00.000-05:00

*blows dust off of blog*

Where the heck have I been? *Sigh* sadly the same place...however I have a few updates.

I'm losing weight.
I'm signing up for a 5k race
I have locs now.

My locs are brand new, less than a month old. This phase kinda sucks though. My hair looks shorter and the front locs refuse to behave. Thus I've been rocking hats and hair bands on a regular. Hopefully by the end of the 2nd month I'll be more in love with my hair and feel confident enough to wear it out sans a hat or hairband.

I've been dieting and working out since December 1, 2009 and have lost 7 pounds. I was hoping to be 20 pounds lighter by this time (actually by January) but I'll take the improved muscle tone and 7 pounds. My weight loss has not gone as quickly as I had hoped, but baby steps...baby steps.

The 4 mile race is in June and it's a first for me. I'm excited and can't wait to train for it...even though I'll be going at it alone. The race has a weekly training group but due to my work schedule I'm unable to join. I also tried to convince my girlfriend to run with me but I don't think it's gonna happen. However I didn't want that to stop me from doing the race, so with some advice from a seasoned runner, runnersworld.com, new running shoes, socks and the nifty Nike sensor, I'll start training this week. I'll keep you posted.

That about wraps it up.

Come on girl...

2010-01-15T23:00:00.001-06:00

I'm so full of emotion right now, figured now is a great time to write.

So I've been dieting and working out since December 1, 2009. My goal is to be slim and trim again by losing 15-20lbs and toning up my whole body in 2010.

Started off December 1, Week 1 with roughly 1200 calories daily however I did not weigh myself but instead took my measurements. Beginning Week 3, I finally hopped on the scale and it mocked me again...

Actually it told me I weighed 172.

Starting weeks 2-4, I consumed roughly 1800 calories daily but I didn't keep track of my fat/sodium/ cholesterol/ carbs intake. I continued to weigh myself and saw no change on the scale or with my measurements. On top of the diet I also worked out 4 days per weeks starting off with 15-20 minutes then moving up to as much as 40 minutes on some days. Week 5 marked the start of the new year, I decided I needed to go back to the 1200-1300 calorie diet and workout 5 days a week for 30-40 minutes each day, maybe then I could lose weight.

In addition to starting the 1200-1300 calorie diet, I also tracked my fat and carbs. I tracked everything that went into my mouth and kept a daily diary of all my food and drinks. Last week I lost 2 lbs, this week I "thought" I lost 3 additional pounds, I swear the scale told me I was 167. I even sent out a tweet on twitter saying I lost 3lbs. Well....this morning I hopped on the scale and it mocked me, it told me I was still only down the same 2 pounds I lost last week tipping the scale at 170...again.

WTF. I did not pig out or cheat this week, I averaged about 1300 per day, eating every 3-4 hours, working out every day since Monday and the scale goes up?! So I stepped off the scale and calibrated it, "Yeah that's what's it, it just needs to be adjusted," I assured myself. So again I hopped on the scale and it didn't budge.

DAMN!

I danced with that scale at least 5 more times and it did not move. Did I imagine my 3 pound weight loss just a few days ago? I know I've been stressing a lot over my lack of results so maybe my mind just saw weight loss when it never really happened. Maybe my eyes played a trick on me...or maybe it's my scale.

I looked down at my scale and wondered if it was finally time to replace it, after all I had it for years and it was one of those dial scales. That's it, I'll just buy a new scale. So immediately after work today I purchased a digital scale and hurried home to weigh myself only to see the same numbers from this morning plus .9 ounces.

I wanted to cry, matter of fact I fought back tears as my depression hit me. All I could think about was all the work I've put in since December, all the hungry nights, all the workouts I forced myself to do day after day, getting up early or working out in the evenings if I didn't do it in the mornings, all to only lose 2 pounds. 2 POUNDS! Sure, my chicken slivers (under arm fat) are finally slimming down, and my belly isn't as poofy as it use to be or....am I imagining this too?

I thought back to my doctor visit on Tuesday, during the visit my cholesterol and thyroid were tested, no results back for at least another week. I shared with my doctor my concerns with my weight and what I've been doing to lose it. She gave me a 1200 and 1500 calorie diet plan and. She felt I could lose weight with the plans she gave me and also gave me a list of foods to avoid and a list of foods to enjoy. She advised me on getting my thyroid tested, she did the kung fu grip on my neck and asked me to swallow. She said it felt "full".

I looked back down at my scale and hoped that perhaps it is my thyroid, hell at this point having a medical condition would actually make me feel better. I know that's wrong of me but I'm beyond frustrated at this point. Let me take that back, I do no need a medical condition but I am still BEYOND frustrated.

However I told myself I would not give up, I'll still work out but I'm not doing 1200-1300 calorie restriction anymore.

Right now my focus is on my birthday and dinner party coming up next week. I have shopping to do and decorations to pick up. Plus I'm already worrying over my dress and shoes, if those 2 items do not make it in time I'll need to figure out a Plan B...

"Love me love me, say that you love me..."

2009-12-01T08:36:00.000-06:00

"Fool me fool me, go on and fool me..."I'm loving this song at the moment.

I've written a few blogs and read a few on this thing called love. My cousin wrote a nice note last year where she states, "The one guy who is nowhere near perfection, or the ideal that you envisioned in your mind so long ago, but somehow he really is all that you want, some of what you don’t need, a little bit of what you could do without, and everything that you would embrace no questions asked."

Then there was India Arie's song, The Truth, this verse in particular;
"If he ever left me, I wouldn't even be sad, no
Cause there's a blessing in every lesson
And I'm glad that I knew him at all"

Finally there's the woman I saw on a makeover show several years ago. Her husband passed away years before the show. As she shared a little bit about her life with him, she mentioned they were married only 10 years before he died. I'll never forget the next words out of her mouth,"My life was full with him", she stated. She went on to recount how much he meant to her and how happy she was with him. I can't recall the name of the makeover show but I remember that woman's eyes and heartfelt words vividly. See back then I was in a unhappy marriage and the thought of being happy and married didn't seem possible for me. So whenever I ran across women who seemed to be happy and married, they always left an impression.

Today I still wonder when I will experience love. I don't dwell on that thought too often, I'm not one to complain about not finding a man or even blog about it every other blog/note (go ahead and check the archives), but I'll admit the, "how long will single life last?" thought crosses my mind ever so often. And when the thought comes, I feel as if my (romantic love) future is bleak. I've dated and dated for years with nothing but a lesson learned and no commitment to show for it in the end. I've met men, good men but we didn't quite do it for each other so ultimately the relationship failed.

Is my love broke?

Nahhh. I can accept my blame and responsibility in all my failed relationships, I didn't leave any of them bitter, as I stated, I can see the lesson at the end of it. But you know what? Sometimes the unexpected happens.

Have you ever met someone or experienced something so delightfully unexpected that it changed your outlook on love? Like turning a corner and then BOOM! There it is. Someone or something that inspires you to be a better human being and gives you hope that maybe love hasn't forsaken you. Perhaps its not a person but a song, a poem, blog, a happy couple in your life---not those sappy facebook couples that live their relationships through photo albums and status updates, (they irk me) but I digress.

I feel like I'm rambling....

My point is, up until the unexpected happened to me, I never saw myself being that in love because I've yet to experience it. Sure I've loved a few men in my life, had some good times even got married but I always felt an anxiety, a fear with the men I was involved with. So I remained somewhat withdrawn and did not unleash my loves full potential and it ultimately led to the downfall of my relationships.

But since experiencing the "unexpected" I'm starting to let down a few walls. I can see how a person can have such deep feelings for someone that it inspires a love song. A song where she's not sad if he leaves because she's happy just to have known him. I can see the type of guy mentioned in my cousin's blog, the one "who really is all that you want" . I can see the man who gave his wife a full life in only a decade of living. I can see being with someone that inspires all of that and being that person to them.

So I had to let go of some relationships and some habits. Had to start over and let go of some fears, and embrace the unknown. I'm not in love yet but I feel if I keep my heart honest it's gonna happen soon enough.

But until then, I'll go on getting along with myself :)

Day 17 Happiness and Amazement

2009-10-07T10:13:00.000-05:00

While walking to the pick up zone to get my daughters at their school, I heard a soft sweet voice tell me, "Wow, you look beautiful". I stopped, I swear that voice sounded like it came from the wind, did I really hear that? I wondered. I looked around to see a cute little girl smiling up at me, as she passed by she repeated her comment. I smiled big and thanked her sincerely. Now you guys know I already feel some type way about my daughters' school, (see Day 2 Frustrated) nearly all of my experiences with their school have been disappointing, so whenever I go there, it's like reliving that disappointed all over again. But in the few seconds it took for that little girl to speak to me, she made me happy and I didn't think on the negative experiences with the school.

When you get a compliment from a young child, take it! Mostly likely they are being completely honest and truthful with you and the compliment is untainted by the opinions of others.

I'm also amazed by the reasoning and logic of young children. Take for example my oldest daughter JM a.k.a the Drama Queen, one summer at the age of 3 or 4, she decided to become a vegetarian, it was short lived but she was so serious during that time.

Her temporary vegetarian diet came as a result of a conversation she had with her aunt. The two of them were out on a walk and discovered a dead bird, and as a 3/4 year old, she had like 4512745234563421 questions about the bird; she wanted to know how it died, where was the momma & daddy bird, what's gonna happen to it and so on. Her aunt went on to explain about the bird and during their conversation mentioned other types of birds----like chickens----that we eat. My daughter asked her what other animals do we eat. Her aunt mentioned cows and pigs and the types of food we get from those animals.

All my daughter needed to hear was meat= dead animals and she was done! She no longer viewed meat as meat, now it's a dead animal----- just like the dead bird she saw on the ground and to quote her, "I can't eat dead animals, that's gross!"

Ahh it was an entertaining summer. Ya know me being the momma, I still served meat, figured she would out grow her aversion to it, but that child of mine questioned any meat I put before her as if was road kill. "Where did you get this? What animal did this come from?" I believe this went on for nearly 2 months. I finally wised up and stopped using the word meat and just referred to it as "food", the less info I gave her, the better.

Kids, gotta love em.

Day 16 Fear and Embarrassment

2009-10-04T09:58:00.000-05:00

Of all the embarrassing and fearful moments I've had in my life, there are 2 that stand out and both of them occurred during my 8th grade year.

I attended a school in Chicago's Public School District 299. Now that I think about it, that school seemed awfully far from where I lived, not to mention the fact that on my block alone, it seemed like every other child attended a different school. Not quite sure how children living on the same block could end up at 3 different schools, maybe our parents used different addresses.

Anyways.

The first incident occurred on the playground. Back in my grade school days we lined up outside according to our class and would enter the building class by class. I stood in the middle of my class line waiting for our turn to go. I remember it was October, and it was chilly out, so I stood there with my hands in my jacket and my book bag on my back when all of a sudden...

BAM!!!

My head suddenly hurt and I felt dazed and afraid. My hand instinctively went to the spot on my forehead that ached.

What the hell just happened?

My fear and confusion grew as I saw other students laughing and pointing at me, I still had no clue as to what was going on other then the fact that my head ached fiercely! One girl who stood near me, starting complaining about something landing on her book bag. I heard her say, "Ewww! somebody threw a potato and got it all on my bag!"

I looked at the front of my jacket, there was white chunky stuff across the front. Was this a potato? Am I bleeding? I felt my head again and looked at my hands, no blood just food. Did someone really just throw a potato at me? Who would do something like that? Who would want to hurt me? I looked up and all around me the students continued to stare, laugh and point. It felt as if everyone was closing in on me as they came to take a closer look.

I need to get out of here. What if I get hit again? Who threw this at me?! I forced my way through the crowd, I kept my head low and bumped into students as I headed to the entrance of the school.

Damn my face hurts!

I went to the door and the security guard/hall monitor or whatever the hell his title was stood there, his name was Snake <----no lie. Everyone called him Snake, teachers, janitors and students. I never knew his real name. He was a tall black man and very loud, I always felt intimated by him because he always had a "outside" voice whenever he spoke to anyone, especially the students.

He yelled telling me to go back to my line. I showed him the knot on my head and told him I just got hit in the face with something...maybe a potato, I asked if I could go to the office. He looked down at me and told me to go ahead.

I hated him.

I made my way to the school office and told them what happened. They gave me an ice pack and called my mother. I was then sent to another room to wait until my mom came. Back then my mom didn't have a car so I knew I was in for a long wait. I put the ice pack on my head, place my face in my hands and began to cry.

In the end my mom picked me up. I didn't suffer any cuts only a large knot on my already big head. My mom thought the potato may have been cooked, I don't know, all I know is my head hurt like hell after it hit, and we still never found out who threw it.

The second incident occurred in class. My school had these tall, old ass windows that opened at the very top. You had to be as tall as the ceilings in order to open them yourself, and since no one was that tall, the teachers had to use this hooked rod thing to open and close the windows---sorta similar to the hanging rods used at clothing stores for hanging or removing garments on a high clothing rack.

Well the teacher, Mr. Henderson, let this young man in our class open the window. My seat was in the front row and at the end of the aisle.....near the window. The young boy attempted to open the window with the rod, he didn't have a good grip on it because it fell out his hands and promptly landed on my head.

Ouch!

After the rod hit my head it fell across my desk and 2 other girls that sat next to me. The teacher looked up when the rod landed on the desks but failed to realize it landed on my head first. The ENTIRE class was laughing, Mr. Henderson just told them to shut up.

I sat there embarrassed and hurting, I could feel my face turning red as my cheeks burned from the embarrassment of what occurred. I actually had to tell the teacher that the rod fell on me. He sent me to the restroom and told one of the other female students to accompany me.

So we went to the restroom, she asked if I was ok and through a mouth full of tears I told her yes (minus the headache).

I hated allowing others to see me cry, didn't want people thinking I was a cry baby or weak, (after 21 I pretty much stopped crying in front of others) I tried my best to suck it up and give the appearance that I was ok as we left the restroom and walked back to the classroom.

Again no stitches needed just a day's worth of embarrassment, come to think of it--- I don't know why they didn't call my mom....

Looking back I can laugh at it now, but back then...it was hell.

30 Days of Emotions. Day 15 Uneasy

2009-10-01T06:34:00.000-05:00

Last night I have a very restless and uneasy night. My mind just refused to cooperate and allow me to sleep peacefully, now factor that in along with some outside influences and it made for a long night.

I woke up at 1am due to the sound of someones (most likely some young man) music. This fool decided to blast music from his car stereo LOUDLY at 1 o'clock this morning. I looked out my bedroom window and noticed a car across the street along with a few men. They must have just gotten a new sound system (prolly cost more then the car) because they were standing at the rear of the car with the trunk open, apparently testing it out.

*eye roll*

My neighbors across the street appear to be a bunch of young folks with children. I've noticed several young men in and out the house before. I lay back down and told myself they better move along or shut it down soon or else I'm calling 911. Then I realized I said 911, this isn't an emergency, granted they are disturbing the peace but still no emergency. The thought of me wanting to call 911 for a non emergency reminded me of news reports I've seen of other people calling 911 for the same thing; and those calls were usually centered around restaurant service. Like the guy who called 911 because he was given incorrect change or another guy who called because the sauce was left off his sandwich. I recall thinking those people were fools, dumb fools and I didn't want to be a fool; so in the event I needed to call the police, I'll call the non emergency number. Fortunately the idiots blasting the music left within 10 minutes.

Now I have to put myself back to sleep. Sleep for me hasn't always come easy, if I wake up in the middle of the night, it'll probably be 30 minutes to an hour before I'm able to doze back off. So I turned the tv on and set the sleep timer. The last thing I needed was to wake myself from the sounds of an infomercial because I fell asleep with the tv on. Somehow I managed to fall asleep but then I woke up again, this time to sounds coming from my bed.

?????

It sounded like a pinging noise and it was loud. I woke up thinking what the hell is that? I immediately imagined my bed frame collapsing and thought damn I don't need another expense. I continued to lay there listening to see if the noise would come back and wondered if I had just imagined it.

After a few moments it came back and I'm still clueless to its origin---- but I'm not getting outta bed to find out. I'll deal with it in the morning and turned over and attempted to fall back asleep. So back to sleep I went...but around 3am I'm awake again.

DAMN!

This time I thought I heard my youngest daughter call me but I didn't immediately get out of bed. My kids have a habit of sleep talking and on some occasion sleep walking. I laid in bed...awake...again...waiting to see if she would call me or come into my room. From her room I heard her ask me a question, I couldn't quite make out what she was saying but I figured she must be half sleep otherwise she would have come into my room by now. A few minutes later she uttered something else and called my name.

I laid there thinking I really don't want to get out of bed. I'm 99% sure she's half sleep, she's not crying, doesn't sound scared or in pain, I'll just lay here until she falls back asleep.

Soon she's quiet. I turned the tv on and once again set the timer. I dozed off but found myself awake within a few hours.

What in the hell!?

It's now 5am, I tossed and turned all while glancing at the clock. After 30 minutes I'm now wide awake. Though my alarm was set for 6:10am, I knew there was no chance of me falling back asleep though I desperately wanted to be awaken by it.

I sat up, turned off the alarm and begun to mutter, "It's gonna be a long day".

30 Days of Emotions. Day 14 Lazy

2009-09-28T18:50:00.000-05:00

Ehh I'se lazy today ya'll plus my mental energy was zapped at work and has been on vacation since Friday. I thought it would have come back after I ~~fed my addiction~~ had a cup of coffee but sadly it did not. So I've been unfocused and distracted the entire day *Kanye shrug*

But on the other hand, I wanted to share the commercial that gave birth to me wanting to become a stunt driver:

I wanna drive the yellow car...

30 Days of Emotions. Day 13 Reflective...oh those myspace days

2009-09-27T19:54:00.000-05:00

On May 13 2008, I received a lot of BS message on my myspace account, below is a recount of the fuckery. Oh and um, just add [sic] to every paragraph after this point LOL!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: John

Date: May 13, 2008 12:13 PM

My name is John 44 male from .Johnstown Pa I saw your beautiful profile and picture on myspace and thought i would say Hello and maybe we can chat and be friends My screen name on yahoo is nightblood06@yahoo. com , msn messenger nightblood06@hotmail. com or AIM nightblood07@aim. com Have a nice day
Hope to hear from you soon
your friend
John

Nightblood? I don't even wanna know why you call yourself that, but I'm hitting the spam button, tell Tom I said hi.

Then I received a message from this man looking for a soul mate. Note his numerous spelling and grammatical errors. I think my eyes may have bled a lil from reading it.

From: smith

Date: May 13, 2008 12:26 PM

Hi Sweetie, (soo original)
How are you doing? my name is smith , am 33 from texas, am new here in the site, i was going through the profile of women on the site and i came across yours,i must tell you that among all the profile of womens i saw here ,yours is the one that caught all my attention most . because you are beautiful, looking nice, and i saw trough your profile that you will be a caring and also a loving woman,i will like to get to know more about you,

How many words should a sentence contain? And what does he have against using capital letters?

well if you have a yahoo mail id let me know so that i can add you up,because these site do act up sometime,you can also mail me with these email address smith. ronald53@yahoo. com or u can add me to your yahoo messanger so that we can chat more, here is my id smith. ronald53

So you can spam my account? No thanks smith!

Well let me tell u about myself and what i am really looking for in a woman. I'm a computer engineer I'm a self employed, i am mixed in race mixed with black and white my dad is Originaly from Chicago while my mom is Originaly from africa. my dad passed away about 3 years ago. i am the only child of my parent. and resently(missing a p) now i am not in the states, i am in africa right now visiting my sick mom beening the only child i have to take good care of her coz i dont want to loose her.

i am a well charming black man. Who holds these words to be self evidence,(did he just use parts of the Declaration?) that I am somebody. Somebody whose mind is made up of what I am determined to do in life.

Except use the damn English language correctly.

I am a dedicated Christian and hopefully one day soon, I will be a dedicated husband for that special woman who will(In The Future) be in my life to have and to hold. I want a woman who is ready for marriage and nothing less. Also, I am a independent, supportive, lovable, talent, and a sense of humor , black man, who is walking by faith and not by sight.

If you don't stop using the scriptures for this BS

A black man who have came to realized that you are just as important as I am. A black man who willing to walk side by side with his future mate. And give her 100% satisfaction of her needs and wants. (As long as it is decent and in order).

Ok I get it, you're black, can we move on please?

I am looking for in a partner, a well bride independent,true Christian talented woman. One who wants to be loved by a loveable man. A woman who wants to have something in life. A woman who set goals, one to whom I am willing to listen to, and she is willing to listen to me as well. One who is humble, and has the Godly woman in her . And surely every thing else will fall in place. A woman who know what to say and do with a beautiful black man. i hope to hear from you soon. bye and take care, much love and have a blessed day

All that and he didn't even ask my name....

Finally:

From: Ryan

(Ryan's original picture was a sexy brown skin male with a killer 12 pack ab, but I think my photo is more fitting.)

Ryan

May 13, 2008 12:09 PM
Subject: Yum

Can I rub you down?

Damn! No need for introductions, he get's right to it! He's already suspect, I mean why is he hiding his face? I decided to have fun with this one so I replied and asked him if I looked like I needed some lotion, this was his reply:

From: Ryan
Date: May 13, 2008 12:13 PM

Subject: RE: Yum

Oh my I would have to say yes so I could rub you down. LOL!! You are sexy. I would love to rub and kiss your whole body

LOL, I replied back and told him the job was already taken and promptly hit the spam button, again give Tom my regards.

30 Days of Emotions. Day 12 Amused

2009-09-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

Saw this on twitter from one of the people I follow, I found it very amusing.

And of course there's the baby dancing to Single Ladies...

And I don't know why I find ALL his videos hilarious!

30 days of Emotions. Day 11 Disgust

2009-09-25T09:20:00.000-05:00

I've had plenty of moments where I felt disgusted, two of them were so severe that in one instance I vomited and nearly fainted and the other was plain gross.

Both incidents occurred during my job as a patient sitter at a hospital in Chicago. The first one happened near the end of a double shift. After 8 hours of 3rd shift and then another 8 on first, I was beyond tired and ready to go home. Heck I was only 18, why in the hell was I working so hard?

Ahh yeah shoes and clothes ruled everything around me...

Then again the job wasn't that hard. My job as a patient sitter was easy money. I sat in a room, watched tv all night and on occasion glanced at my sleeping patient. Easy but boring! Day shift was a bit more active though. The lights are on in the patient room and throughout the hospital. Various hospital staff are in and out the patients rooms throughout the day.

On that particular day, my patient was a young woman with cerebral palsy; I believe her name was Lisa. She was tiny, I don't think she weighed 100 pounds. Lisa's limbs and face were severely deformed and twisted, she couldn't speak or walk. She also suffered from seizures, thus the reason for a patient sitter, my job was to alert the nurse if and when she had a seizure.

The morning nurse arrived and needed my assistance, she asked that I hold down Lisa's arms while she changed her IV. Ya know looking back I'm not quite sure that was smart of the nurse to ask me to do such a thing. Anyways, though Lisa was tiny she could wiggle. So I put on a uniform, gloves and held the top of Lisa's arms. This was the first time I got up close into Lisa's face. Her skin was so dry, her lips were cracked and there was dried blood on them.

And she smelled and was in need of a bath. I don't think anyone had come in to clean her yet, though it was now mid afternoon.

I turned my head away, I then looked at the nurse to see if she was finished with her procedure, sadly she was not. She was just getting all of her equipment ready and placing it on a tray table within arms reach.

Hurry up. I thought to myself.

Lisa began to move, her motions caused the scent of her body and the warm sheets to penetrate my nose.

God, I hated that smell, it smelled just like a "hospital" but with the scent of an unclean body added on top of it.

I looked back at the nurse, still not done.

Damn!

I looked back at Lisa, she wriggled some more, I then looked at her twisted arms, and back at her face. The dried blood and chapped skin of her lips looked really bad and painful---it made me cringe.

I continued to hold her down while wishing the nurse would hurry up.

I took a deep breath but that proved to be a mistake. The hospital smell came back to assault my nose and it smelled a hundred times worse, the warm sheets, the smell of Lisa, the thick air, it became too much for me.

I felt light headed and soon I was losing my grip on Lisa. My hearing begin to go faint and it seemed like the room was closing in on me. My mouth began to water as a flood of saliva suddenly rushed in.

Oh no! This was not a good sign, I knew all too well the signs my body gives when I'm about to vomit and the saliva was not a good thing. I swallowed. Soon the queasy feeling came in my belly, damn I was losing it.

I murmured to the nurse that I had to go. I made my way around Lisa's bed and headed for bathroom. I prayed I would make it there in time before I vom...

Too late.

Out came my lunch and everything else in my belly, I watched it hit the floor. Oh no! And I was so close to the bathroom. I continued on and made it to the toilet to finish the job. All I could think about was the blood on Lisa's lips and the smell of the room as my stomach violently released everything in it.

The second incident occurred once again during the day shift. This time it was an older man with AIDS and he had several scabs and sores on his body. Also, he had some type of mental disorder and needed someone to keep an eye on him and alert the nurse if he begin to "act out".

I sat in my chair as he laid in bed. He would murmur things that I couldn't understand so I made no attempt to have a conversation with him. Then he sat up on his bed.

Now he's got my attention.

He then proceeds to pick at a scab on his foot, pulled it off and put it in his mouth.

*barf*

Completely disgusted!

I don't think I moved for a few minutes, I couldn't believe he ate his own scab, what in the hell?!

Fortunately, the nurse came in and I told her he had something in his mouth. I couldn't utter the words, "He pulled off a scab and ate it" for fear it would bring the chunks. She managed to get his mouth open and the scab was still there.

Gross!

Ya know up until my experience of working in a hospital, I wanted to be a nurse, but afterward, I no longer had that desire. I don't think I have what it takes to be a great nurse...

30 Days of Emotions. Day 10 Relieved

2009-09-24T18:44:00.000-05:00

Relieved:

The I experience I felt after receiving my epidural during child birth. Ahhh, no more pain....

The sensation felt when rinsing out a perm that has started to burn something fierce on your scalp.

The release of pressure felt when you take off shoes that hurt your feet.

Seeing your debit/credit card purchase say, "approved" . Woot woot!

Not being picked on by the teacher to answer a question when you were clueless about the answer.

Looking back in your rear view mirror after running a red light and not seeing any flashing lights from the police.

Text message/ phone call/ voice mail from a loved one saying they made it safely to their destination.

Punching out at the end of a long work day, quitting time is the beautifulest part of your work day.

A negative HIV test

A positive pregnancy test - for those looking to conceive

Your period - for those not looking to conceive.

Just seeing it all come together.

30 Days of Emotions. Day 9 -Felt like sharing

2009-09-23T18:42:00.000-05:00

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Poem by the Sufi poet Rumi

30 Days of Emotions. Day 8 Nervous

2009-09-22T18:41:00.000-05:00

I was super nervous, today was my open house event at my job and I worried how well it would turn out.

Will my target audience come?

Will I have enough food?

Will they like the flavors of the ice cream?

Will I have a large crowd or a small crowd

And lord please don't let those high school boys come in my office trying to start something with me....

Overall it went well. I had a moderate size crowd, I had people in my office the entire time of the 4 hour event. I met several people, including those in the target area, and they shared some wonderful stories. The ice cream theme was a hit and oh so delicious!(I shall not reveal the number of cones I had during the event...) I dished out ice cream cones as I gave those in attendance the "scoop" on the services provided at the office. I had plenty of food left and I did not deal with any high school boys during the time period---yes!

But the ultimate highlight of my day lasted about 3 seconds.

Eye Candy spoke to me. *insert high school girl like giggle* now *insert slap back into reality*

My feet ached by the end of the day, you know I was rocking the 3 inch heels, but over all I was pleased with the turn out and wondered why I was so nervous in the first place.

I also have to mention the great group of women that I work with. Since I began work at my companies satellite office, I'm the only staff member at that location. But several staff members from the main office came by to support and volunteer during the open house, I heart those ladies mucho!

30 Days of Emotions. Day 7 forgetful

2009-09-21T20:41:00.000-05:00

Do I really need to define this?

I suffer from forgetfulness daily. I'll often call my daughters by the others' name, it's a shame because I only have 2 daughters. But I give myself a pass on that one because I'm sure I'm not the only parent who does that.

Last week I blamed my forgetfulness on me almost missing a meeting, turns out I wasn't told about the meeting in the first place, (Self, I apologize, do you forgive me? Yes, I forgive me.)

Um, am I the only one who asks herself questions and answers them? No? Ok, cool moving on.

I definitely missed a meeting tonight because I forgot about it. My friend called and asked, "Did you forget we were meeting tonight?" I replied, "Oops! I sure did!"

I've even gone half way to work before realizing that I still needed to drop my child off at daycare. Upon the realization of my mistake, I loudly stated, "Oh sh*t!". Not missing a beat from the backseat, my youngest asked, "Mommy why did you say oh sh*t?".

Oh nothing honey...

Fortunately work and daycare are not that far from each other.

In my previous apartment, I manged to lose my tv remote every night. EVERY NIGHT! My bedroom wasn't that big, but each night I somehow found a new spot to lose the remote. I would spend minutes searching for it, and sometimes it wouldn't be in my room.

I've put milk on top of the refrigerator and attempted to put a box of cereal in the fridge, when I realized the box wouldn't fit and glanced up to see the milk on top of the fridge I had to laugh at myself. I've opened a new jar of mayo and and put it back in the cabinet instead of the fridge, I don't know how long the jar was in there, my mom found it when I moved last month.

Speaking of food, I waste a lot of it. Why? Because I forget about it! When I moved in August, I threw away so much food! Canned goods are suppose to last forever right? Maybe not forever but at least 2-3 years from the date of purchase. Why did I have stuff that expired over a year and in some cases 2 years ago?

I've locked my keys in my car on more then one occasion though not in the recent years. I forget birthdays and anniversaries. Chances are if I don't get an email reminder from facebook, myspace and any other networking site I frequent regarding your birthday/anniversary/party and other things of that nature, I will most likely forget about it.

I often have too many things running through my mind. ~~Maybe I need more then one mind, oh never mind that, not trying to have multiple personalities~~ I'm trying to remind myself to look at my calendar more often. I'm good at jotting down dates, I have birthdays, anniversaries and meetings written down but I don't view my calendar on a daily basis, thus I still forget.

I've even tried using electronic reminders but I've learned that electronic reminders only work if I set them to remind me yearly of birthdays and anniversaries.

Is there any hope for me?

30 Days of Emotions. Day 6 Validated

2009-09-20T12:33:00.001-05:00

Validate- To make valid, to confirm

Finally someone else agrees I need a raise....

Clumps of Mascara

30 days of emotions. Day 5, Confuzzled

2009-09-18T00:11:00.000-05:00

Confused and puzzled. I think I stole that term from someone on myspace or twitter.

* Main Entry: con·fused
* Pronunciation: \-ˈfyüzd\
* Function: adjective
* Date: 14th century

1 a : being perplexed or disconcerted (the confused students) b : disoriented with regard to one's sense of time, place, or identity the patient became confused
2 : indistinguishable (a zigzag, crisscross, confused trail — Harry Hervey
3 : being disordered or mixed up (a contradictory and often confused story)

* Main Entry: 1puz·zle
* Pronunciation: \ˈpə-zəl\
* Function: verb
* Inflected Form(s): puz·zled; puz·zling \ˈpə-zə-liŋ, ˈpəz-liŋ\
* Etymology: origin unknown
* Date: 1582

transitive verb 1 : to offer or represent to (as a person) a problem difficult to solve or a situation difficult to resolve : challenge mentally; also : to exert (as oneself) over such a problem or situation they puzzled their wits to find a solution
2 archaic : complicate, entangle
3 : to solve with difficulty or ingenuity (puzzle out an answer to a riddle>) intransitive verb 1 : to be uncertain as to action or choice
2 : to attempt a solution of a puzzle by guesswork or experiment (puzzle over the mystery)

Confuzzled was the feeling I got after seeing a certain middle aged man in the downtown area walking around wearing 5 coats and work boots, didn't matter what time of year or the temperature, he faithfully wore 5 coats and boots.

Perhaps not 5, but definitely more then one. You could tell by his bulky appearance and the outline of the other coats. I didn't get it or understood why he would wear multiple coats and boots especially in the summer months? I wondered if he was hot or uncomfortable? Was he opposed to washing his coats? And when was the last time any of those coats were washed? What mental condition (if any) made him wear the same coats day after day regardless of the weather?

Seriously! It can be 80 degrees and sunny and he will have on his coat of many coats and boots!

Then I realized Peoria had a few "special" people along most of the main roads.

There was the big belly guy who always sang loud rock and roll songs and pretended he was playing the air guitar complete with some crotch grabbing. He would sing and grab his crotch at the passing cars, overall it made my trips to the mall.....interesting.

Then there was Willie York, he wore various cloths, head dresses and oh yeah.....he painted his face and often adorned it with various plant life, beads and other things he most likely found on the streets. His paint color choices usually included blue, green, white or whatever color fit his current mood. He even has his own website, www.willieyork.com. He use to roam the downtown area pretty heavily from 2005-2007 but I haven't seen him in a few years.

Seeing these men always made me confused and puzzled. Willie's story is quite sad and unfortunate, I wonder if the other fellas have similar stories to tell?

Confuzzled indeed.

30 Days of Emotions. Day 4, Hopeful

2009-09-16T23:08:00.000-05:00

* Main Entry: hope·ful
* Pronunciation: \ˈhōp-fəl\
* Function: adjective
* Date: 1568

1 : having qualities which inspire hope
2 : full of hope : inclined to hope

— hope·ful·ness noun

I don't ever want to get to the point where I feel there is no hope. I always want to have hope in something, I think those who lose all hope are the ones who ultimately commit suicide.

And I ain't going out like that.

I must continue to have hope that:

one day it will get better, it won't be this hard all the dayum time

I will not always feel this way

my girls will become happy, confident and successful adults

that one day I will grow up but will still be a big SpongeBob SquarePants fan

that I will get back to a size ~~8 or a 9, on second thought, better make that a~~ 10.

that I will one day be a great cook like my mom and grandmother

~~that I will stop having nightmares that Chris Brown's bowtie tried to choke me~~

My point is hope is necessary, unless you really prefer the hopeless alternative.

30 Days of Emotions. Day 3 Tired

2009-09-15T16:37:00.000-05:00

Main Entry: tired
Function: adjective
Date: 14th century

1 : drained of strength and energy : fatigued often to the point of exhaustion
2 : obviously worn by hard use : run-down
3 : trite, hackneyed

— tired·ly adverb

— tired·ness noun

From Merriam-Webster online

The 1st definition is me on a daily basis, drained of strength and energy. Being a single mother of 2 young girls, I get tired easily and often. Parenthood is hard with 2 involved parents, but going at it alone---it's even harder. And to be honest, I'm tired of doing it alone, granted it's being done but it comes with the price of me feeling run down. And that rundown feeling leads to crankiness which then leads to a lot of yelling and frustrating moments with my kids, which ultimately leads to me feeling like a failure of a mother. I should be having fun with my girls and enjoying them, not yelling and constantly feeling overwhelmed.

But now I'm beginning to become more aware of my emotions, especially anger induced by tiredness. Some moments I find myself biting my lip and breathing a few breaths before I speak to my daughters, especially when they are misbehaving.

I also realize that I need to play with my girls. As silly or as obvious as that may seem, I often stand back and observe them instead of getting down and playing with them. Single parenthood is no excuse for my daughters and I not to have a happy, healthy, FUN relationship.

But single parenthood isn't the only thing that tires me.

Walking on a bumpy, uneven, concrete ground in 3-4 inch heels is another thing that tires me. Talk about suffering for beauty! It doesn't drain me of strength and energy but if makes me feel a bit exhausted and I think it will prematurely run down my shoes.

With the new job, I'm not one of the lucky ones who has an assigned parking space in the "good lot" (can you feel me hating?) So I have to park in the main lot with the students and remaining staff. The good lot is close to my office, it takes seconds to find a spot, after I park it takes about 20 to enter the building and be at my office door. However the main lot is not so simple, depending on where I park, I'm looking at a small hike of about 2-3 minutes to get to my office

Yeah 2-3 minutes is not a long time, but in 4 inch heels on a bumpy concrete surface, it's not so simple.

Wearing contacts for 8 hours or more will tire my eyes.

Long road trips (over 3 hours) tire me.

Going to Chucky Cheese for any amount of time is an instant energy zapper.

And since its now after 10pm and I'm tired (fatigued), this blog will end here.

Blame it on on the ta ta ta ta ta tiredness....

30 Days of Emotions. Day 2 Frustrated

2009-09-14T10:50:00.000-05:00

From Merriam-Webster, the definition of frustrate:

Main Entry: ¹frus·trate
Pronunciation: \ˈfrəs-ˌtrāt\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): frus·trat·ed; frus·trat·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin frustratus, past participle of frustrare to deceive, frustrate, from frustra in error, in vain
Date: 15th century

1 a : to balk or defeat in an endeavor b : to induce feelings of discouragement in
2 a (1) : to make ineffectual : bring to nothing (2) : impede, obstruct b : to make invalid or of no effect

synonyms frustrate, thwart, foil, baffle, balk mean to check or defeat another's plan or block achievement of a goal.

Tell me about! My wish of being in a new home came with the price of dealing with my kids new school. The school district was a big concern of mine when searching for a new place to live and definitely played a role in choosing where I would move. So when I found a place I had to research the school where my girls would ultimately attend. This school just so happens to be the same school that their dad, aunts and uncle attended and they all loved the experience, some of the teachers that taught them are still working at the school. I asked some other parents about their experience with the school and no one spoke ill of the school. I even visited one of the websites that I frequent to see what they had to say about the school and it gave the school an overall OK rating. However the school did particularly well with their ISAT scores last year and the classroom size are slightly smaller than the state average.

Academic wise, I'm still waiting to see what this school has done for my children. But administrative wise, this school sucks and has failed me numerous times.

First day of school was chaotic. Despite having registered my girls on the day of registration, that just proved to be a waste of time because I had to do it all over again the first week of school. My girls did not have a classroom assignment when we arrived on the 1st day of school and due to all the disorganization, class started an hour late. I did not expect to still be waiting at the school at 9:18am when class was suppose to start nearly an hour ago.

Transportation is another frustrating issue. It took a week for the school to tell me my girls were classified as walkers (though they are only 5 and 7) and since we live less then 1.5 miles from the school, if I want the girls on the bus I have to pay a fee of $179.

I figured the fee was worth it, I was getting tired of getting off work towards the end of my day to pick up my girls, take them to daycare and then return to work to finish my shift. So I paid the fee, was told it takes 24-48 hours before the route is put into the system. Well a week goes by and after getting no new updates from transportation, I called the school. The hold up was the address of the daycare, when the secretary filled out the form, she neglected to put the address of the daycare on the form, (despite me telling them all this), so the form was left unprocessed until I called to find out what the hold up was.

Now I'm getting annoyed. Do I need to throw a b*tch fit in this piece to get some results? So after the address was resubmitted, I waited another week only to get the disappointing news that the PM bus was full but the girls could take the bus to school in the am if I so choose. Needless to say, I chose a refund.

Beyond annoyed...

I find myself uttering the words, "I hate this school." I try to check myself and not say it around the girls, but I'm tired of this school. I'm already trying to find a way around it and see if I can have my girls attend another school by using someones address or even consider private school. The private school is close to where I live and if I give up my cell phone and pinch pennies just a little more, I should be able to afford it. It would be nice if their dad would help financially but I ain't holding out on that one, I'll have better luck wishing on a star and unicorns but I digress.

So my latest issue came today when I tried to drop off medicine at the school for my youngest. She has a runny nose and I wanted to leave some OTC meds with her teacher. I was able to do this at their previous school and I didn't need a note from the doctor, only a letter from myself explaining when to give and how much. I recall signing medication forms at registration but I think that form was used to help me practice my signature because it too prove to me useless. Anyway, I met the teacher outside and explained to her that I had medicine for my daughter. She tells me she's not allowed to give meds and directs me to the school office.

So I take the meds and head to the office. The front receptionist greets me and I tell her that I want to leave the meds here for my daughter. She informs me that they don't allow that and I have to have a doctors letter in order for them to give out meds. I told her it's OTC not a prescription, so she asked the principal who was standing at the copier machine. The principal replies no to the OTC meds but she believes the nurse from the in school health clinic (operated by one of the local hospitals) may be able to give the meds, but she doesn't come in until Thursday.

So there's no school nurse on staff at this frickin school?

*MAJOR EYE ROLL*

I walked out the office as I muttered, "I hate this school." I couldn't believe this bullshit. I got in my car as I drove away I thought to myself, I've got to do something about my experience at this damn school, I can't go a whole year or even multiple years dealing with this nonsense.

30 Days of Emotions. Day 1, Proud

2009-09-13T20:51:00.000-05:00

Today, for the first time in my life, I cut grass and pulled weeds. This may seem like no big task to you, but this is the first time in my adult life of living in my own house and having to care for a lawn. I've lived in apartments since I moved out of my mother's crib at 20, so lawn care was never my responsibility.

I did that yall!

So along with the new house came yards, and this is the back yard.

My cousin said I could fit a lot of cars back there...

Yards, require work and mine required a lot of work. A few days after I moved in, my kids grandparents came and spent a few hours in my front and back yard. I had a few dead bushes and a wild tree in the front yard, grandma and grandpa cleared it away. My next door neighbor keeps the front lawn trimmed since our lawns are attached, he say's it looks better to keep the lawn even.

Front lawn

I've been here for nearly a month now and my back yard only had that one cut. My neighbor has kept his promise and keeps my front yard looking good. So I decided today will be the day I finally mow my backyard. I got my lawn mower that grandpa gave to me (isn't he the best?). I looked it over for a few minutes in an attempt to figure out how to turn it on. I told myself I would not call grandpa and ask him how, that I could figure it out on my own. So...after a few failed attempts of pulling the "start" string, I figured maybe it was outta gas, so I poured some in. Pulled the string a few times and still no go. I finally called my friend, he told me I had to prime the mower first and to look for a button near the front of the mower and push it several times. Sure enough there was a rubber button, I pressed it 5 times and pulled the start string. Still nothing. So I pulled it a few more times and the mower would not turn on.

Cripes!

I told my friend I gotta call grandpa. After I hung up the phone, I pulled the start string one more time and it started!

So I went to cutting. I don't know how long I was out there but it seemed like hours. The yard is quite bumpy and big. I told myself to go slow, going fast just seemed like a bad idea. Eventually I finished. I decided not to run the mower over the weeds near the alley, I recall my mother telling me I needed to see what was under those weeds first before I go plowing through it. So I grabbed my garden gloves, some clippers/trimmers (I think that's what you call them, the big scissors looking thing) and I headed toward the weeds.

Now pulling and raking those weeds took some hours. There were all kinds of creepy crawling creatures popping out as I pulled and cut weeds. There was also a pipe, large broken pieces of bark, tree limbs and a bed of rocks. And I did all of this in my rocking yellow nail polish,

I look good in yellow

but 2.5 lawn bags later and with the help of my daughters, we had it all cleaned up. I stood back to admire my work and felt proud, very proud (See first photo again).

Now my back aches and my hands hurt, but I'm still beaming.

Fail fail fail fail!!!!

2009-09-08T16:42:00.000-05:00

This has been an interesting day.

Fail # 1. My alarm went off at 12midnight, I forgot to reset it days ago when the power blew so when I turned the alarm off it went back to its default setting of midnight. Now I have issues sleeping anyways, I can never sleep throughout the night, I always wake up 2, 3 numerous times throughout the night, I can normally fall back asleep but trying to sleep longer than 3 hours at a time is very rare to me.

So needless to say I woke up repeatedly throughout the night.

Fail #2. My kids can't ride the bus. Since we live so close to the school, I have to pay a fee for the girls to ride the school bus, (since we live close to the school, there is a fee to ride the bus). Took the end of the first week before I found out that my girls are definitely classified as "walkers". So after a week of taking them to school and then picking them up, I figured the nearly $200 fee would be worth it, I could have them dropped off at daycare and cut all the back and forth madness out. Mind you they get outta school before I get off work, so I take a late lunch, grab them from school, take them to daycare and returned to work to finish my shift and then go back to daycare to pick them up and go home. Yeah the convenience of having my afternoons back was worth the $200 esp when I only have an hour left on my shift.

So, today I followed up with the school once again regarding the transportation. I was told that the girls can ride the bus to school but not to the daycare because that particular bus was full.

WTH? Full? How can a school bus be full?

*big eye roll* I NEED them on the pm bus, had it not taken nearly 3 weeks for me to get a effin bus route, they could have gotten on that damn bus.

I canceled the service and told them to give my money back, not gonna do me any good to have them ride the bus in the morning. So when I told her I wanted a refund she asked if my girls ever rode on the bus.

Da f***!?

Nooooo, I replied, they have not. So now I have to check back at the end of the week.

Fail # 3. I stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get my coffee. Didn't take a sip until I got to the office, I was still fuming from bus situation with the school and was too pissed to drink.

I sat down at my desk and took a sip only to discover the coffee is nasty! Nasty like it was the last cup left in the pot and had been sitting there for a while as it slowly started to possible burn kinda nasty.

I threw it away.

The highlight of my day was the free lunch, it was attached to a 3 hour meeting but free none the less. And 2 hours and 45 minutes into the meeting, fail #4 arrive in the form of a headache. My head officially quit me around 2:34 this afternoon. It begin to hurt and all I could think of was how this was the school and Dunkin Donuts fault. Their faults because if I hadn't spent that extra time in that school office this morning, I wouldn't have been in such a rush to get to Dunkin Donuts and could have taken my time getting there which would have allowed the customer who arrive after I did to go before me and they would have gotten that nasty cup of coffee while I would have been the recipient of a fresh brew thus avoiding the whole tossing out of the coffee later at work, which means I could have gotten my caffeine fix and not had the headache in the first damn place.

Those inconsiderate bastids.

Now you can be prepared to use the restroom in public or at the office

2009-09-04T13:37:00.000-05:00

I don't particular care for the restroom outside my office, it's rather old looking and hard on the eyes. I'm sure this restroom has all the original equipment from when this building was first built nearly 50 years ago and that's including the paint job.

I quickly had to learn some preparation rules in order to use the facility here with the utmost success; that I must hold the stall door closed because there are no locks in any of the stalls, that I must avoid the last three stalls because they usually contain no tissue and how the toilet in middle stall doesn't flush and is usually backed up so I should avoid eye contact with it at all cost! Now I'm not the type that can't use a public/work restroom. If I need to pee I'm not holding it and sometimes holding it just ain't an option.

So I've complied a short list of prep rules to help my bathroom breaks to be a success. I decided to share them with you today, just in case you ever find yourself using a restroom under similar circumstances.

1. Make sure the toilet flushes. Do a test flush first before using the toilet, if it works you're good, if not find another stall.

2. Make sure there is tissue in the tissue holder. It is the worse feeling the moment after using the bathroom when you discover there is no tissue. I don't suggest asking your neighbor in the adjacent stall for tissue, who knows where their hands have been. So unless you have some tissue in your purse, you'll need to move to another stall. Yes this may mean exposing your ass but that's what you get for not checking for tissue in the first place missy. Besides do you want to walk around with dirty panties the rest of the day?

3. Make sure the lock works or that there is a lock. Do you really want to give the typical reply, "Oh it's ok" , to another woman who walks in on you while you're sitting on the toilet? As Ellen DeGeneres once said in a stand up routine, what if the woman decides to sit down and wait for you to finish since you told her, "It's ok". What will you do then huh?

So make sure the lock works, if it doesn't then find another stall or be sure to hold the door close with one hand while you handle your business.

4. Note if there is a trash container in the stall. Just in case you have trash that can't or shouldn't be flushed down the toilet. Otherwise your options are putting it in your pocket/purse and tossing it away later.

5. No hand dryers: Pay attention to see if the facility has hand dryers, if it does not, be sure to check that there are paper towels in the dispenser before you head to the stall. If you discover the paper towel dispenser is empty and you've already washed your hands, you must either use toilet tissue to dry your hands (yes that means picking off the pieces that stick to you), or dry them on your pants. If neither of those are appealing to you, you can shake them and allow them to air dry. But DO NOT under any circumstances walk out the bathroom with dripping wet hands, that's just disgusting and is not a good look.

Lets Debate: Junk Food Tax

2009-08-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

I'd think twice about that Twinkie if I were you

While watching HLN this morning a report caught my attention, the anchor reported on a survey showing that more and more people are in favor of a tax on junk foods. Yup you heard right, an extra tax on junk foods, similar to the additional tax paid on tobacco.

The Urban Institute, a research center based in DC, issued a report supporting the tax. The Institute writes that, "The obese and overweight suffer chronic illness, poor health, and more than 100,000 preventable deaths each year. Obesity causes over $200 billion in annual health care spending, about half of which is borne by taxpayers."

It also reports that the tax could raise $530 billion in 10 years and those funds could be used to fight obesity and help cover the uninsured.

On one hand it sure seems like it would be a good idea because the funds generated by the tax could fight obesity. I assume the junk food suppliers are not spending $530 billion on advertising their bad foods to us. Thus the revenue could be used to educate the public on better nutritional choices and perhaps it could decrease the number of obesity related deaths.

But on the other hand, do we really want the government to interfere with our food choices? Do we need them to tell us what we should and should not eat, and if we choose a food from the "should not" eat category is it fair to pay more for it?

And who's to say the government definition of junk food is equivalent to mine. And how will they decide what is classified as junk food? Will this actually make a difference in the public choosing better foods? What about the junk food suppliers, should they pay additional fees for selling and promoting these bad foods?

Should Junk Food Help Pay for Health Care?

Posted by Erin Zimmer, August 3, 2009 at 11:00 AM

Congress is considering a ten percent "fat tax" on junk food to help pay for the expansion of health care coverage. But as the Economist points out, defining junk food is tricky. While sugary drinks, fries, and burgers might be lumped under this umbrella of fatty foods, they vary on the junky spectrum. Should it be based strictly on fat, calorie, or sugar content?

Others have suggested a more direct, though controversial, approach to the tax: charging people based on BMI or body fat content. One Economist reader had the following to say:

The common denominator among smokers is cigarettes, so we tax cigarettes. The common denominator among alcohol-abusers is alcoholic beverages, so we tax alcoholic beverages. The common denominator amongst obese people is body fat content (not sugary drinks), so we should tax body fat content.

Do you think spiking up junk food prices would make a big difference on eating habits and health? Or would taxing by weight be more effective?

Original news source here