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Thursday, March 21, 2013

These few things




1. Can I just say that my family is doing the most when it comes to traveling out of town? And by out of town I'm referring to staying one night at my mothers' who lives two hours away. You see the bags pictured? Well, that's just part of it. Not pictured are two other "personal bags" one for each daughter to carry stuff they would during the car ride. Also not pictured is an iPod, iPad, a Nexus 7, laptop and a portable hard drive.

Did I mention the trip is only 2 hours?

Did I also mention that it's only 1 night?

Yup, doing the most.

2. Speaking of iPods and iPads, why can't I ever get the two right? I mix up the 2 devices about 90% of the time. When I'm referring to my iPod I call it the iPad and vice versa.

3. It's officially Spring but the high yesterday in my city was 29 degrees. Who authorized this? Winter is officially over but yet the winter type weather is hanging on like the last 10lbs I need to lose. How is this fair?

4. I keep seeing the commercials for Jurrassic Park 3D and I sooo want to see it. The 3D version looks pretty darn good for a movie that's 20 years old. Can you believe it's that old? I don't know what they did to make it look so good but I'm requesting the same thing done to me in 20 years.

5. OMG! these girl scout cookies are messing up my high school skinny dreams. I tried Thin Mints for what I believe was the 1st time last night and they are soooooo freakin delicious! I had to force myself to stop at 5.

6. I need to win the lottery, so I can buy this and this and do some responsible stuff like pay off debts, save for retirement, put my kids through college, blah blah blah. But mostly to buy those two things.

7. I spent St. Patrick's day at the best place on earth...the MAC Cosmetics counter. However, I did not drink any green beer or beer of any kind for that manner. They don't offer beer at the counter.

8. Surveying the office birthday calendar, I noticed that the majority of my coworkers were born 9 months after St. Patrick's Day...coincidence?

9.  I saw a picture of what I thought was a pretty cool statement tattoo on another woman. It read, "Suck My Cockiness, Lick My Persuasion." One statement under each breast. I bet you're wondering where I saw such a tattoo. On facebook of course.

10.  Did you see last night's episode of My Strange Addiction featuring the girl who is addicted to human and animal blood? Barf! Where do they find these people? Do they have to try out to be on the show? Why do I consistently watch shows that freak me out? I'm so done with the struggle.

For now.



Wednesday, March 13, 2013

These few things



1. Why was I cursed with a sweet tooth but blessed with the ability to bake and follow recipes? Like, how is this right? Waistline struggles continue.

2. I'm so loving the Netflix series, House of Cards staring the best actor in quite possibly the universe named Kevin Spacey. He plays a powerful, mastermind political character known as Frank Underwood. Every time I watch the show I wonder if this is what life is like in Washington and how I'm not cut out for it. I know sad, but oh so true.

3. My underwear have come into contact with water TWICE this week, mind you this is outside of the washing machine. The 1st incident was in the bathroom, when I shower, I like to bring my underwear with me to put on after my shower. I don't know if this is weird but it's my thing ok? Actually, I do this to save my kids, I figured they might be disturbed seeing their mom prance around ass naked fresh out the shower. Soooo, since I'm such a wonderful mother, I partially dress myself. They should thank me.

My bathroom is set-up like most bathrooms, it's not very big, there's a sink, toilet, tub/shower combo...in that order. I placed my underwear on the sink and somehow it ended up in the toilet. Incident number two occurred this morning. I was folding a blanket, I was aware of the cup of water that I left on the table from the previous night and told myself, to mind that cup of water. But apparently I don't listen very well because the cup of water tipped over and ended up in my socks and shoes.

4. I want to run a 15k race this year. I want the pleasure of being a badass and joining the class of runners who have run over 9 miles, just because. Never mind the fact that serious experienced runners state running this particular 15K is harder than running a half marathon. Also, never mind the fact that this 15K is also known as, "Illinois toughest 15K" and oh never mind that I'm out of shape and haven't ran since 2012. Never mind these things at all.

5. Girl scout cookies are haunting me. Seriously. I only paid for 2 boxes of cookies so please tell me how I ended up with 10 boxes for free? Dear Universe, you have a sense of humor, its twisted, but a sense of humor no doubt.

6. Oh, I found a salted caramel sauce recipe and made it the other day. My sole purpose is to make salted caramel brownies. Dear Self, You also have a twisted sense of humor.

7. You may give me the side eye for this, but I actually like song Harlem Shake, you won't find me in the club doing the dance but you may find me blasting it in my car.

8. My office is having a wear green day this Friday in honor of St. Patrick's day. I came home and told this to my boyfriend and he replied, "You know you're not Irish right?" Yes, this is true but I am a woman. A woman that likes sparkly green nail polish, green eye shadow, green rings and green clothes, this must count for something. However, he did offer me one of his green teeshirts, he's so sweet.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Sex, Lies and Jr. High

I’m not too sure what had me reminiscing about my days in the 8th grade but my mind went there. You know back when I was in the 8th grade, there was a lot of sexing going on. Not by me of course, I didn’t think about having sex, I was on my “church living” so no premarital sex for me. Plus I was too scared of my mother and what she would do to me if I dare tried it.

I assumed there was such a thing as being too young to have sex, but apparently that wasn’t the case with my class. Some of the kids were having sex, having babies and freely talking about it. Others talked about the sex they pretended to have or the sex  they thought everyone else was having.
 
Which leads me to this fact, 8th graders back then were dumb. Real dumb. Thinking back now on all the stories I heard about kids “doing it”, it just makes sense to call us dumb. Back then an 8thgrader only had so much experience and knowledge. Most of us came from families that didn’t really discuss sex but instead gave us the warning, “not to do it”. We didn’t have the internet or Google so the “sex knowledge gaps” had to be filled with the little “sex knowledge” we had.

For example, there was this girl, oh let’s call her Lisa, you remember when kids had regular names like that? Anyways, Lisa had some serious dental work and a serious overbite. Plus, she had this fork looking thing in the roof of her mouth. I don’t know what it was called but I remember that it looked like the end of a fork sticking out of the roof of her mouth. But… perhaps it was some sort of retainer. Anyways, to us 8th graders, Lisa’s severe overbite was due to her performing so much oral sex on the boys.

Like how the hell was that even possible with all that metal in her mouth? And who would want to risk having oral sex with a person who had braces? But back then, I believed it, and of course there were boys who testified that Lisa had performed oral sex on them. She of course insisted the rumor wasn’t true, but you know 8th graders, the truth is the truth despite the evidence or common sense.

Then there was this girl, let’s call her Shirley and she was rumored to be pregnant. That however was actually true. Although this girl denied being pregnant, her belly and the birth of her son gave her away. And that’s where the rumors began. She supposedly delivered her baby prematurely, around 7 months into her pregnancy and went home with it, like the very next day after delivery. This of course made sense to me with my zero knowledge of medicine but after speaking to a few adults, including my mother who is a nurse, I learned preemies are not sent home until close to their original due dates.

Oh and of course there was the rumor about boys with big feet, they also had big d-cks. That rumor lasted long into adulthood but I heard it first in 8th grade, maybe even 7th.

Looking back, I really wished I wasn’t so clueless about sex and the whole mechanics of it. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble in my adulthood. Oh well, live and learn.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Lame---Update 10-13-12

Original blog post is below but I decided to provide an update. I ran the Steamboat Classic Race and finished in 43 minutes, slower than my previous times but a finish none the less. I think I may go back to my roots and blog about various issues in my life and not just issues surrounding training for a race or weightloss, there are plenty of folks out there doing that already.


Well as you may have guessed from my lack of running related blogs I am not doing Steamboat Classic this year. I had high hopes but it just didn't work out, dont worry I won't run down all my excuses because believe me it's all just excuses. A week without runs turned into 6 weeks and now the race is less than 3 weeks away. I'm really disappointed and sad about it but at this point all I can do is learn my lesson and move on.